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What Should Family Discipleship Look Like?

by Marci Ferrell
Motherhood Spiritual Discipleship

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Have we set up an idol in our lives on what family discipleship should look like?  There are a multitude of books, articles, blogs and conversations within our churches on how family discipleship should be carried out in our homes.

The typical model is dad spiritually leads the family every night in Bible reading, singing and prayer time.  What if your husband doesn’t do this every night?  What if he doesn’t do it at all?


Where does it specifically say in scripture he is to do these things by this model?  The favorite passage in Deuteronomy 6:4-7 is usually the one quoted:


“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
 
or Ephesians 6:4:
 
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
 

When I read through the passage in Deuteronomy the first thing that stands out is the Word of God is to so impact us as parents that every aspect of our lives is to be brought into submission to it.  Imagine the impact on the lives of our children if in the home we are living this out daily.  Every discussion, trial, all events – we’re talking everything – is filtered through the lens of Scripture.

God’s Word is being lived out in a mighty way as our children see us depend on Him for all things.  Family discussions about scripture naturally are occurring as we go on about our lives. 


We are teaching our children about the Lord and His ways as we go through our day, as we sit and walk and lie down and rise.  It can mean having a formal sit down teaching time but it doesn’t state that in the verses above.  


The point I really want to get across is, have we set up an idol on what family discipleship should look like?  It is a great blessing if your husband leads your family in worship on a daily or frequent basis but if he doesn’t, do you find yourself comparing him to others or harboring bitterness in your heart towards him?


Don’t set your husband up for failure in determining he must fit a certain mold in order to gain your approval on what properly leading your family looks like.  Many husbands set a beautiful example of what a godly husband looks like without a formal time of family worship.


Let me share some ways your husband may already be setting a godly example in your home:


-He faithfully works hard and provides for his family.

-He loves his wife
-He loves his children
-He makes church attendance a priority in the life of your family
-He is patient, and kind and loving.
-He takes the time to pray for your family
-He takes the time to pray with your family
-He shares what the Lord is teaching him through His Word as he goes about his day.
-You see evidence of the gospel being lived out in his life.

and this list can go on…….


My hope is every dad would desire to lead his family in a daily time of worship but if your husband does not, you harboring bitterness or resentment is not going to help you or your family grow in godliness.  


What are some ways you can be a help without usurping your husband’s authority in this area?


You as a mom are still called to teach your children about the Lord as a follower of Christ.  We are called to make disciples and I can’t think of a closer disciple than your own children.  You can read God’s Word to them and talk to them as you sit and rise and lie and walk along the way.  You can pray together with them.  You can sing praises to the Lord throughout your days.


You can talk with your husband gently (no nagging or complaining or comparing) on your desire for him to lead your family and offer to help in finding resources to help him.  If he doesn’t desire to do so, you continue to pray for him (and pray for your attitude towards him) and in the future you may have another opportunity to discuss it with him again.


Encourage your husband in his role as the spiritual leader in the family, ask him questions about God’s Word to bring him into spiritual discussions, and let your children see your love, respect and honor towards him.


Be faithful in your role as a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and pour into your children throughout your days.  May they see a mom who loves and obeys the Word of God and see it lived out in your day to day choices and attitudes.


Most importantly may they see a mom who trusts the Lord in all things.

Related Links:
Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship
Bible Study Helps for Busy Moms

 
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Related posts:

  1. 6 Impactful Daily Family Rituals
  2. Determining the Best Choices for Your Family
  3. Two Good Questions to Ask Your Church Family During Fellowship Time
  4. Building Better Communication With Your Teen


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Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
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Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
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We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
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Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
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Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
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Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
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It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
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Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
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1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
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Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
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We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
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So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
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I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
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Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
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Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
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Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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