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The Sin of Selfishness

Love is our best defense against sin.  The more that we love God and our neighbor the less selfish (sinful) we will be.  God's remedy for sin is our love for Him. @mferrell

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
(2 Timothy 3:1-5 ESV)

“Lovers of self” (my emphasis) – notice in the verse above all the other categories fall under the umbrella of loving our self. Selfishness truly is the “mother of all sins” as it is common to each of us and keeps us from loving God and others as we are called as believers to do.  

And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
(Matthew 22:35-40 ESV


Love is our best defense against sin.  The more that we love God and our neighbor the less selfish (sinful) we will be. God’s remedy for sin is our love for Him.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Love is our best defense against sin.” quote=”Love is our best defense against sin.”]

Some examples of selfishness are:

• Being more concerned with my interests over God’s
• Competitiveness
• Fear of being rejected
• Not rejoicing when others are esteemed
• Difficulty submitting to God’s will
• Being Controlling
• More concerned with my needs than the needs of those around me
• Protective of my time

The list above is not exhaustive and I know we can all think of many more examples that clearly reveal when we are putting the needs of ourselves above others but the first step in killing the sin of selfishness is to recognize it.

 Be killing sin or it will be killing you
~ John Owen ~ 
How do we kill the sin of selfishness as believers? We must rely on the Holy Spirit to open our eyes and reveal to us afresh and anew the great love of Christ. We must reflect and dwell on the love that God has already revealed to us through the gift of His Son – Jesus Christ. God has saved us and predestined us to be conformed to the image of Christ – God knows what is best for me and truly is working out all situations for good in my life. I must remember to dwell on the truths of His sovereignty, faithfulness, wisdom, goodness and His love.  God is sufficient to meet all my needs and I can rest that the circumstances he allows in my life will reveal the areas of my life that need sanctifying.

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
(Ephesians 3:17-19 ESV)

May we seek the Lord today and ask Him to show us the sin of selfishness in our lives. May we seek to put the love of others above ourselves as we first and foremost are reminded of the great love God has for us – 

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8 ESV)


“The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and the death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in.”

~ C. S. Lewis


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  1. I did a search “the sin of selfishness” because my boyfriend of 8 years is so selfish and self-centered it is abusive. He is a passive aggressive Aspberger…and it has helped change me from a relatively happy person to suicidal. Of course you’re saying to yourself “why doesn’t she just leave him if it’s so bad?”. Life often isn’t so simple or black and white. I have no way to support myself. I oftentimes imagine just going into a nearby ditch and laying there until I die. That would be so much easier than dealing with my sickness, him, and life. He just plain doesn’t have mostly the same interests as I do…but I think the key is that he doesn’t have the same interests as I expect any normal human being has!. This has practically destroyed me. I waited so very long to find the man whom I love, and who loves me back dearly. I admit I was getting desperate, but I was too weak to resist his sweet words and promises. He doesn’t like animals, the outdoors, lazy afternoons, playing games, hanging with friends…all the things I NEED. Instead he grew up with asthma and allergies…and a neat freak mom…so he’s ‘afraid’ of dander and pollen, needs to be ‘engaged in work’ all the time, and hates people and playing games, aka having fun. His dad is heavily Nord…and is a Drippy Drawers. I call them Drippy Drawers Sr and Jr. I am Irish and I love to socialize. I NEED to be with people…and he needs to be alone. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Passive Aggressives, but if not do a little search. This is where the term ‘crazy talk’ comes from. Many a woman has suffered greatly at the hands of these evil lying loonies! My boyfriend will ‘change his brains’ on a dime. For many years now he will insist he loves me one minute and then tells me to leave (permanently) the next. He doesn’t understand a man is only as good as his word. THIS is what has destroyed me so much…his inability to have an opinion about anything…to CARE about ANYTHING!! He is truly a mental case! The only thing he cares about (as he told me when we met) are him, his children, and the local sports team. But also his obsession…cars and engines and racing. He can’t even tell me what his favorite meal is…or get excited about when I make special treats. This is not a normal man as most ‘live to eat’. I am a great cook…and he finally understands this…and does appreciate that. But you can’t even tell me what your favorite meal is? Come on! Believe it or not it’s taken me many years to figure this guy out…and I still don’t think I’ve really pointed to THE root of his problem. Here’s another big piece…because he cares little about much of anything, I have no leverage. This is huge and extremely defeating for me. Like I said…I can’t have pets (which would greatly allow me to heal), and he won’t spend time with me outside…or just chilling…all which I need for healing. They say a week camping can remove a year’s worth of stress. I need this sooo bad! But he’s too selfish to care and step out of his comfort zone (his alllergies and asthma are almost gone thanks to my healing cooking…I’m a nutritionist). He is an oldest child bully (also a Taurus), and I’m a youngest child nice person who is always willing to bend to accommodate other’s needs. I guess I’m a real giver and he’s a real taker. That’s another thing! He HATES to give me anything (time, assistance, ‘favors’), while I am always willing to be there for him. He literally wants to pay me for favors, and I tell him that’s not the way relationships work! Oh my God…I’m going crazy! Thanks for letting me vent! Please pray for me and him. I don’t even care that much about US anymore…I just need to return to a happy and healthy life again. I’m glad to find your blog. I know I need to hear and live God’s Word every day, so I look forward to your emails. Thanks Marci! God Bless you! ????❤????

  2. Wow the whole list was me! Convicted for real

  3. Wonderful post Marci!

  4. Ashlyn @ Consider the Lilies says:

    Wonderful post Marci! Reminds me that selfishness is something we must examine ourselves daily for!

  5. Ashley Ditto says:

    This is great. I sometimes don’t realize when I am being selfish. Wonderful post Marci!

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