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Podcast Ep 35: Marriage Series #2 – To Love Their Husbands

by Marci Ferrell
Loving Our Husbands Marriage Marriage Series Podcast Romance Titus 2

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CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE SERIES TO LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS @MFERRELL

We’re continuing in a series here at the podcast on marriage. Each episode can stand alone, but they are meant to be listened to together. Last week we talked about God’s Design for Marriage and Our Role as Women. We touched briefly on areas of submission, respect, and love. Today we’re going to start by seeing what God’s Word has to say about loving our husbands. 

Listen & Download the Podcast:

All Post and Podcasts in the Marriage Series

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Find all Podcast Episodes Here with Show Notes

Download this episode (right click and save)

I struggled with titling the episode, so I borrowed it from scripture from the Titus 2:4 passage that we are to be taught by the older women “to love their husbands.”

Love is a necessary factor in our marriages. If we don’t have love for one another, there are going to be a lot of issues in our marriage. Click to Tweet

Before we dig into that passage, I want to work through with you what is love?  Love is a necessary factor in our marriages. If we don’t have love for one another, there are going to be a lot of issues in our marriage. Without love in our marriages, they’re going to be difficult to endure. Any problems in marriage will be difficult to overcome. As time goes on, when we live in a relationship where there is no love, the relationship is going to begin to fall apart. We’re not going to like each other very much or have any desire to be near one another, and it is just a dangerous place to be.

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EP 16: Simplify Your Housekeeping with a Cleaning Schedule
EP 100: Showing True Biblical Love to Our Husband
EP 101: Trusting God with the Impossible as Mothers

God’s Word is clear on the importance of love in all our relationships and especially in our marriages.

God’s Word is clear on the importance of love in all our relationships and especially in our marriages.Click to Tweet

In a most familiar passage – Matthew 22:37-40 states:

37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

We stated last week that our husbands are our closest neighbors. When love is talked about, do we understand what it truly is or what it means when God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves?

Where love abounds for another, their offenses are quickly and frequently overlooked and forgotten. Click to Tweet

We married our spouse because we loved them. Now that we’ve been married a bit we can find ourselves acting very unloving at times or maybe a lot of times and wondering what happened? We can’t exhaustively cover today what real love is, but I do desire to work through on what God’s Word says because He’s given us a clear idea of what real love is in His Word. 

We can’t rightly love God and others – our husbands included - without being reconciled to God.Click to Tweet

Show Notes:

Where love abounds in a fellowship of Christians, many small offenses, and even some large ones, are readily overlooked and forgotten. But where love is lacking, every word is viewed with suspicion, every action is liable to misunderstanding, and conflicts about – to Satan’s perverse delight. ~ Wayne Grudem

It is the nature of true spiritual love, whether from God to man or Christian to Christian, to cover sins (cf. Romans 5:8). This teaching does not preclude the discipline of a sinning, unrepentant church member (cf. Mt18:15, 16, 17, 18; 1Cor 5:1ff). It means specifically that a Christian should overlook sins against him if possible, and always be ready to forgive insults and unkindnesses.” ~ John MacArthur, The MacArthur Study Bible 

To have peace and a right relationship with God we need first to be reconciled to God. Which means we need to know and understand and respond to the Gospel.

Two Questions to Ask: (From Give Me Jesus Journal)

1. What You Learned about God from this passage?

2. And in light of that – How Does this Change the Way I live? 

Quote below from John MacArthur's Commentary on Ephesians: (sit with this quote a bit friends)

“If a husband fails in his love for his wife, or she for him, it is never because of the other person, regardless of what the other person may have done. You do not fall either into or out of agape love, because it is controlled by the will. Romantic love can be beautiful and meaningful, and we find many favorable accounts of it in Scripture. But it is agape love that God commands husbands and wives to have for each other (Ep 5:25, 28, 33-see notes Ephesians 5:25; 28; 33 cf. Titus 2:4-note; etc.)—the love that each person controls by his own act of will. Strained relations between husbands and wives, between fellow workers, between brothers and sisters, or between any others is never a matter of incompatibility or personality conflict but is always a matter of sin… Loving others is an act of obedience, and not loving them is an act of disobedience. The absence of (agape) love is the presence of sin. The absence of love has nothing at all to do with what is happening to us, but everything to do with what is happening in us. Sin and love are enemies, because sin and God are enemies. They cannot coexist. Where one is, the other is not. The loveless life is the ungodly life; and the godly life is the serving, caring, tenderhearted, affectionate, self–giving, self–sacrificing life of Christ’s love working through the believer. Agape is the love that gives. There’s no taking involved. It is completely unselfish. It seeks the highest good for another no matter what the cost, demonstrated supremely by Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf.”

Jen Wilkin shares in her book In His Image regarding the love that marks believers different from the world to ask ourselves: What is the will of God for your life? That you love as you have been loved. When faced with a decision, ask yourself: Which choice enables me to grow in agape for God and others? And then choose according to His will.

“He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

“How can I as a wife, bring honor to the gospel?” ~ Carolyn Mahaney

How can I as a wife, bring honor to the gospel?Click to Tweet

“Warren Wiersbe has this practical comment on bitterness to which even believers can fall prey (although here in Hebrews, the reference appears to refer to an unsaved individual): An unforgiving spirit is the devil’s playground (cp Ep 4:29, 2Cor 2:11) and before long it becomes the Christian’s battleground. If somebody hurts us, either deliberately or unintentionally, and we do not forgive him, then we begin to develop bitterness within, which hardens the heart. We should be tenderhearted and kind, but instead we are hardhearted and bitter. Actually, we are not hurting the person who hurt us; we are only hurting ourselves. Bitterness in the heart makes us treat others the way Satan treats them, when we should treat others the way God has treated us. In His gracious kindness, God has forgiven us, and we should forgive others. We do not forgive for our sake (though we do get a blessing from it) or even for their sake, but for Jesus’ sake. Learning how to forgive and forget is one of the secrets of a happy Christian life.”

Great tip from the Excellent Wife:  Instead of thinking, “How can I get love?”  think “How can I show love?”

Instead of thinking, 'How can I get love?' think 'How can I show love?'Click to Tweet

“A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations.  There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much.  She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.” ~Elisabeth Elliot

“He gives grace abundantly, seasonably, constantly, readily, sovereignly. He generously pours into our souls without ceasing, and He always will do so, whatever may occur.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Scripture & Resources:

Matthew 22:37-40

Proverbs 10:12

1 Peter 4:8

Deuteronomy 6:5

Romans 12:1-2

Verses to study on Love: Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:13-15, Romans 14:14-15, Ephesians 5:25, 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:5, Titus 2:3-4, 1 John 3:16-18, James 2:15-16.

1 Corinthians 13 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Romans 5:8

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Titus 2:3-5

1 John 4:19

Romans 8:28

John 13:34-35

Philippians 2:3-4

Ephesians 4:31

Hebrews 12:15

Psalm 119:11

Colossians 3:12-14

Romans 15:5-6

Ephesians 3:14-19

Resources: (Some of the resources and websites listed below were not mentioned in the podcast but were used in my preparation time)

Links to all the podcasts in the marriage series

Podcast Ep 34: Marriage Series #1 – God's Design for Marriage and Our Role as Women

How Well Do You Love Your Spouse? (Take a Quiz to Find Out)

John MacArthur Study Bible

ESV Study Bible

Precept Austin – A helpful online Bible Study Resource Website

Blue Letter Bible

Be Faithful by Warren Wiersbe

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

Preparing for Marriage God's Way: A Step-by-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding by Wayne Mack

Becoming a Titus 2 Woman by Martha Peace

When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey

In His Image by Jen Wilkin

Bitterness: The Root that Pollutes by Lou Priolo

My blog makeover by Gretchen Louise

 

Related posts:

  1. Podcast Ep 36: Showing Respect to Our Husbands {Marriage Series}
  2. Podcast Ep 34: Marriage Series #1 – God’s Design for Our Marriages & Our Role as Women
  3. Podcast Ep. 17: Our Identity in Christ & What it Looks Like to Cherish Our Husbands
  4. Podcast Ep 40: Marriage Series #7 – Sexual Intimacy in Marriage


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Welcome to Thankful Homemaker

So thankful you’ve stopped by for a visit. Please grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit a bit. I hope to remind you that contentment in our role as homemakers begins with finding our satisfaction in Christ.

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Marci Ferrell
I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wi I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wives, and mothers.  How many times do we focus on our needs that aren’t met?  Unfair situations or circumstances?  Self-pity is a selfish tendency that takes our eyes off Christ and puts them on ourselves.  We forget that “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Are we able to give God “thanks in all things”?⁣
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Come take a listen to EP 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Pity at the link in my profile (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your household is the most important schoolroom y "Your household is the most important schoolroom your children will ever know. And the lessons they learn don't begin and end when you crack open the family Bible. They are always watching and learning from your example—often without even realizing it. That's a tremendous responsibility and opportunity for Christian parents—one that we must make the most of, for God's glory and our children's good."⁣
 ~ John MacArthur⁣
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Come listen to EP 20: The Blessings of Loving Our Children at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"The visible church is where you will find Christ' "The visible church is where you will find Christ's kingdom on earth, and to disregard the kingdom is to disregard its King."⁣
~ Michael Horton⁣
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Read - Building Loving Relationships In Your Church Family at the link in my bio @thankfuhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not a Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;  I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.⁣
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Israel is being refined for the honor and glory of the Lord. I need the reminder that everything the Lord allows in my life is for my good and His glory. All that He does and allows is to further His eternal purposes. ⁣
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He continues to remove the dross from my life in the furnace of affliction, and through each trial and circumstance of my life, the hope is I'm becoming more and more molded and shaped into the image of Christ. ⁣
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Susan Huntington shared on this passage:⁣
"...if our blessed God sees that the disciple, like his Master, must be made perfect through sufferings, ought we not to welcome every means which will conduce to this blessed end? Can we desire to be babes in Christ all our days? If it is a proof of sonship to be chastised, may it not prove a special favor to be greatly chastised? ⁣
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If we were asked what the greatest good is, should we not answer that it is conformity to God? If we were asked what the best circumstances are for the Christian to be placed in, should we not answer that they are those that will, most constantly and most effectually, promote his conformity to God? Shall we then pray for afflictions? By no means. We are weak, and are crushed before the moth. We should not pray for what we do not know that we could bear. ⁣
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We should habitually pray for conformity to God, and quietly leave it to Him to determine by what means He will effect this blessed end."⁣
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-Excerpt taken from my favorite devotional - Seasons of the Heart: A Year of Devotions from One Generation of Women to Another by Donna Kelderman (link to the book is in my profile @thankfulhomemaker - click on the link under the blue arrows, and then this image).
Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we've all heard, and we all agree with, but deep down, we're like, okay, what does that look like? Or how do I make that practical in my day-to-day life when my marriage is hard? Or the kids are out of control? Or there's an illness in my family, or I'm just stuck in a sinful pattern? Or the house is in chaos, and I don't know where to begin? ⁣
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The reality is we're always saying something to ourselves in our minds, especially in those moments of chaos or difficulty. ⁣
Is what we're speaking to ourselves centered on the truths of God's Word, or are we buying into the lies of the world? ⁣
We need to be talking to ourselves and not just listening to ourselves. But what do we need to be talking to ourselves about? ⁣
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This is what we're going to work through together in EP 69: Preaching the Gospel to Yourself - link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your worst days are never so bad that you are bey "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."⁣
~ Jerry Bridges⁣
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Read more at God's Blessing Does Not Depend On Our Performance at the link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
How many times at church do you find yourself disc How many times at church do you find yourself discussing non-spiritual things? As believers, our relationships with others in the body of Christ are unlike anything non-believers will ever experience. It is such a joy when you come across another Christian that you haven't met before, and because of the common bond of Christ, it is as if you have known them forever.⁣
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I have a favorite book that gets used quite often by Donald S. Whitney called Simplify Your Spiritual Life. In the section, Simplifying our Spiritual Life with Others, he guides us to drive the conversations into the spiritual. Wouldn't we all as believers like our conversations with other believers to be directed towards things related to knowing God, Bible reading and application, theology, evangelism, and prayer, to name a few.⁣
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Mr. Whitney shares some questions that are a natural help in directing your conversations with your brothers and sisters in the faith to the spiritual.  This is a handy list to keep in your Bible, planner, or purse.⁣
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The link to the questions is in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"If there is one maverick molecule in all the univ "If there is one maverick molecule in all the universe, then God is not sovereign. And if God is not sovereign, He is not God."⁣
~R. C. Sproul
Thoughts to ponder on the resurrection from John M Thoughts to ponder on the resurrection from John MacArthur:⁣
The basic truth of the resurrection undergirds a number of other truths.⁣
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1. It gives evidence that the Word of God is totally true and reliable. Jesus arose precisely when and in the way He had predicted (see Mt. 12:40; 16:21; 17:9, 23).⁣
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2. The resurrection means that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, as He claimed to be, and that He has power over life and death.⁣
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3. The resurrection proves that salvation is complete, that on the cross Christ conquered sin, death, and hell and rose victorious.⁣
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4. The resurrection proves that the church has been established. Jesus had declared, “I will build My church; and the gates of Hades shall not overpower it” (Mt. 16:8)… His resurrection proved that death itself could not prevent Christ from establishing His church.⁣
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5. The resurrection proves that judgment is coming. Jesus declared that the heavenly Father “has given all judgment to the Son” (Jn. 5:22), and since the Son is now risen and alive, His judgment is certain.⁣
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6. The resurrection of Jesus Christ proves that heaven is waiting. Jesus promised, “In My house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you” (Jn. 14:2). Because Christ is alive by the resurrection, believers have the assurance that He is now preparing a heavenly dwelling for them.⁣
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~Above via John MacArthur - Matthew Commentary 24-28, Moody, 1989, p. 314-315.
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