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Podcast Ep 35: Marriage Series #2 – To Love Their Husbands

by Marci Ferrell
Loving Our Husbands Marriage Marriage Series Podcast Romance Titus 2

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I’d love to help you simplify your meal planning. Check out my new menu planning course here.

 

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE SERIES TO LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS @MFERRELL

We’re continuing in a series here at the podcast on marriage. Each episode can stand alone, but they are meant to be listened to together. Last week we talked about God’s Design for Marriage and Our Role as Women. We touched briefly on areas of submission, respect, and love. Today we’re going to start by seeing what God’s Word has to say about loving our husbands. 

Listen & Download the Podcast:

All Post and Podcasts in the Marriage Series

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Find all Podcast Episodes Here with Show Notes

Download this episode (right click and save)

I struggled with titling the episode, so I borrowed it from scripture from the Titus 2:4 passage that we are to be taught by the older women “to love their husbands.”

Love is a necessary factor in our marriages. If we don’t have love for one another, there are going to be a lot of issues in our marriage. Click to Tweet

Before we dig into that passage, I want to work through with you what is love?  Love is a necessary factor in our marriages. If we don’t have love for one another, there are going to be a lot of issues in our marriage. Without love in our marriages, they’re going to be difficult to endure. Any problems in marriage will be difficult to overcome. As time goes on, when we live in a relationship where there is no love, the relationship is going to begin to fall apart. We’re not going to like each other very much or have any desire to be near one another, and it is just a dangerous place to be.

God’s Word is clear on the importance of love in all our relationships and especially in our marriages.

God’s Word is clear on the importance of love in all our relationships and especially in our marriages. Click to Tweet

In a most familiar passage – Matthew 22:37-40 states:

37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

We stated last week that our husbands are our closest neighbors. When love is talked about, do we understand what it truly is or what it means when God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves?

Where love abounds for another, their offenses are quickly and frequently overlooked and forgotten. Click to Tweet

We married our spouse because we loved them. Now that we’ve been married a bit we can find ourselves acting very unloving at times or maybe a lot of times and wondering what happened? We can’t exhaustively cover today what real love is, but I do desire to work through on what God’s Word says because He’s given us a clear idea of what real love is in His Word. 

We can’t rightly love God and others – our husbands included - without being reconciled to God. Click to Tweet

Show Notes:

Where love abounds in a fellowship of Christians, many small offenses, and even some large ones, are readily overlooked and forgotten. But where love is lacking, every word is viewed with suspicion, every action is liable to misunderstanding, and conflicts about – to Satan’s perverse delight. ~ Wayne Grudem

It is the nature of true spiritual love, whether from God to man or Christian to Christian, to cover sins (cf. Romans 5:8). This teaching does not preclude the discipline of a sinning, unrepentant church member (cf. Mt18:15, 16, 17, 18; 1Cor 5:1ff). It means specifically that a Christian should overlook sins against him if possible, and always be ready to forgive insults and unkindnesses.” ~ John MacArthur, The MacArthur Study Bible 

To have peace and a right relationship with God we need first to be reconciled to God. Which means we need to know and understand and respond to the Gospel.

Two Questions to Ask: (From Give Me Jesus Journal)

1. What You Learned about God from this passage?

2. And in light of that – How Does this Change the Way I live? 

Quote below from John MacArthur's Commentary on Ephesians: (sit with this quote a bit friends)

“If a husband fails in his love for his wife, or she for him, it is never because of the other person, regardless of what the other person may have done. You do not fall either into or out of agape love, because it is controlled by the will. Romantic love can be beautiful and meaningful, and we find many favorable accounts of it in Scripture. But it is agape love that God commands husbands and wives to have for each other (Ep 5:25, 28, 33-see notes Ephesians 5:25; 28; 33 cf. Titus 2:4-note; etc.)—the love that each person controls by his own act of will. Strained relations between husbands and wives, between fellow workers, between brothers and sisters, or between any others is never a matter of incompatibility or personality conflict but is always a matter of sin… Loving others is an act of obedience, and not loving them is an act of disobedience. The absence of (agape) love is the presence of sin. The absence of love has nothing at all to do with what is happening to us, but everything to do with what is happening in us. Sin and love are enemies, because sin and God are enemies. They cannot coexist. Where one is, the other is not. The loveless life is the ungodly life; and the godly life is the serving, caring, tenderhearted, affectionate, self–giving, self–sacrificing life of Christ’s love working through the believer. Agape is the love that gives. There’s no taking involved. It is completely unselfish. It seeks the highest good for another no matter what the cost, demonstrated supremely by Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf.”

Jen Wilkin shares in her book In His Image regarding the love that marks believers different from the world to ask ourselves: What is the will of God for your life? That you love as you have been loved. When faced with a decision, ask yourself: Which choice enables me to grow in agape for God and others? And then choose according to His will.

“He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

“How can I as a wife, bring honor to the gospel?” ~ Carolyn Mahaney

How can I as a wife, bring honor to the gospel? Click to Tweet

“Warren Wiersbe has this practical comment on bitterness to which even believers can fall prey (although here in Hebrews, the reference appears to refer to an unsaved individual): An unforgiving spirit is the devil’s playground (cp Ep 4:29, 2Cor 2:11) and before long it becomes the Christian’s battleground. If somebody hurts us, either deliberately or unintentionally, and we do not forgive him, then we begin to develop bitterness within, which hardens the heart. We should be tenderhearted and kind, but instead we are hardhearted and bitter. Actually, we are not hurting the person who hurt us; we are only hurting ourselves. Bitterness in the heart makes us treat others the way Satan treats them, when we should treat others the way God has treated us. In His gracious kindness, God has forgiven us, and we should forgive others. We do not forgive for our sake (though we do get a blessing from it) or even for their sake, but for Jesus’ sake. Learning how to forgive and forget is one of the secrets of a happy Christian life.”

Great tip from the Excellent Wife:  Instead of thinking, “How can I get love?”  think “How can I show love?”

Instead of thinking, 'How can I get love?' think 'How can I show love?' Click to Tweet

“A wife, if she is very generous, may allow that her husband lives up to perhaps eighty percent of her expectations.  There is always the other twenty percent that she would like to change, and she may chip away at it for the whole of their married life without reducing it by very much.  She may, on the other hand, simply decide to enjoy the eighty percent, and both of them will be happy.” ~Elisabeth Elliot

“He gives grace abundantly, seasonably, constantly, readily, sovereignly. He generously pours into our souls without ceasing, and He always will do so, whatever may occur.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Scripture & Resources:

Matthew 22:37-40

Proverbs 10:12

1 Peter 4:8

Deuteronomy 6:5

Romans 12:1-2

Verses to study on Love: Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:13-15, Romans 14:14-15, Ephesians 5:25, 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:5, Titus 2:3-4, 1 John 3:16-18, James 2:15-16.

1 Corinthians 13 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Romans 5:8

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Titus 2:3-5

1 John 4:19

Romans 8:28

John 13:34-35

Philippians 2:3-4

Ephesians 4:31

Hebrews 12:15

Psalm 119:11

Colossians 3:12-14

Romans 15:5-6

Ephesians 3:14-19

Resources: (Some of the resources and websites listed below were not mentioned in the podcast but were used in my preparation time)

Links to all the podcasts in the marriage series

Podcast Ep 34: Marriage Series #1 – God's Design for Marriage and Our Role as Women

How Well Do You Love Your Spouse? (Take a Quiz to Find Out)

John MacArthur Study Bible

ESV Study Bible

Precept Austin – A helpful online Bible Study Resource Website

Blue Letter Bible

Be Faithful by Warren Wiersbe

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

Preparing for Marriage God's Way: A Step-by-Step Guide for Marriage Success Before and After the Wedding by Wayne Mack

Becoming a Titus 2 Woman by Martha Peace

When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey

In His Image by Jen Wilkin

Bitterness: The Root that Pollutes by Lou Priolo

My blog makeover by Gretchen Louise

 

Related posts:

  1. Podcast Ep 36: Showing Respect to Our Husbands {Marriage Series}
  2. Podcast Ep 34: Marriage Series #1 – God’s Design for Our Marriages & Our Role as Women
  3. EP 17: Cherishing Your Husband
  4. Podcast Ep 40: Marriage Series #7 – Sexual Intimacy in Marriage


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Marci Ferrell
By affliction, Christ . . .⁣ shows us our empti By affliction, Christ . . .⁣
 shows us our emptiness and weakness,⁣
 draws us to the throne of grace,⁣
 purifies our affections,⁣
 weans us from the world,⁣
 and makes us long for Heaven.⁣
~ J.C Ryle
This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help you think through your summertime schedule for your family. As you walk through it you'll determine what your family loves to do, leave room for spontaneity, and put together a simple daily routine to help your days run a bit smoother. ⁣
⁣
There are some summertime meal planning tips and a printable with ideas to put on your family's bucket list for summer and maybe spark new ones of your own! ⁣
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Come download your free 8-page summertime guide here and get access to our whole library of printables when you do.
Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from @relearnhq about his new Gospel Project called MailtheGospel.org. You can get the gospel to anyone anywhere.
So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you fol So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you follow friends if you don’t yet!)- link to the podcast episode we talked about Homemaking to the Glory of God in my profile @thankfulhomemaker 

Repost from @reagantrose 
Godliness > Your Plans⁠
The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.⁣
~ Henry Ward Beecher⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
How many times does Sunday morning roll around and How many times does Sunday morning roll around and you find your heart in a state of chaos instead of calm to worship the Lord?  How many Sundays do you arrive at church and realize you haven’t taken the time all week to pray for your pastor or your church family? ⁣
⁣
I want to share with you some simple steps we can take to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord. ⁣
⁣
The hope today is to get you to understand the purpose and the mission of the local church and then to move on toward how we can proceed with some simple steps to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord.⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
"Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣ ⁣ Very lar "Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣
⁣
Very largely does the wife hold in her ⁣
hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness ⁣
and the highest good of the hearts that ⁣
nestle there. In the last analysis, home ⁣
happiness depends on the wife. ⁣
⁣
Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. ⁣
⁣
Her hands fashion its beauty. ⁣
⁣
Her heart makes its love. ⁣
⁣
And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, ⁣
that no woman who has been called to be a wife, ⁣
and has listened to the call, should consider any⁣
price too great to pay, to be . . .⁣
 the light,⁣
 the joy,⁣
 the blessing,⁣
 the inspiration, ⁣
of a home. ⁣
⁣
The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, ⁣
filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing ⁣
something better than anything else her hands ⁣
could find to do beneath the skies.⁣
⁣
A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of ⁣
home happiness. God sends many beautiful things ⁣
to this world, many noble gifts; but no blessing is ⁣
richer than that which He bestows in a mother who ⁣
has learned love's lessons well, and has realized ⁣
something of the meaning of her sacred calling."⁣
⁣
~ J. R. Miller, "Secrets of Happy Home Life"
Friends 😊 - I'm so excited to share a conversat Friends 😊 - I'm so excited to share a conversation all about the Gospel with Dale Partridge from @relearnhq⁣
⁣
Please join us on IG live tomorrow (June 21st) at 5:30 PM CST/ 3:30 PST and learn about Dale's new project to help equip us to share the Gospel with anyone, anywhere!⁣
⁣
Please join us!
Summer is a natural time for me to get off my rout Summer is a natural time for me to get off my routine of menu planning. In the winter, we're more apt to stick to a schedule, but summer brings about a more flexible and changing calendar. ⁣
⁣
I'm sharing some simple tips that have been a help to me and hopefully, they'll help you in planning your summertime meals. Menu planning is a time and money saver, and I don't know about you, but I would sure like to have more time to enjoy my summer months.⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 77: Simple Summertime Meal Planning Tips at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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