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EP 48: Cultivating Gentleness


What does a gentle spirit look like in the context of your marriage or with your children? #gentleness #gentlespirit #fruitofthespirit @mferrell

We live in a world where it can be quick to pass judgments instead of seeing the best in others. We can find ourselves expressing our opinions harshly when we differ from one another.

Watching debates between Christians online when there is a disagreement makes me cringe a bit when I see the responses towards one another not gentle and kind. Conflict is inevitable, but there is a way as believers that God’s Word lays out for us how to deal with these situations.

There is the reality of being hurt by the words of others and instead of taking the way of meekness, we take the route of defending our rights.

Bringing it closer to home, how are your responses to those you are closest? What does a gentle spirit look like in the context of your marriage or with your children?

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Show Notes:

Change is a process, not an event. Click to Tweet

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The Outline of Biblical Usage taken from Blue Letter Bible defines it as: 

“Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time (Isa 41:17), Luke 18:1-8). Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will (Gal 5:23).”

This excerpt below is from Studies in the Sermon on the Mount from D. Martin Lloyd-Jones:

‘There are people who seem to be born naturally nice. That is not what the Lord means when He says, `Blessed are the meek.’ That is something purely biological, the kind of thing you get in animals. One dog is nicer than another, one cat is nicer than another. That is not meekness. So it does not mean to be naturally nice or easy to get on with. Nor does it mean weakness in personality or character. Still, less does it mean a spirit of compromise or ‘peace at any price. How often are these things mistaken. How often is the man regarded as meek who says, ‘Anything rather than have a disagreement.”    

What does it mean to be poor in spirit? Got describes it:

“To be poor in spirit is to recognize your utter spiritual bankruptcy before God. It is understanding that you have absolutely nothing of worth to offer God. Being poor in spirit is admitting that, because of your sin, you are completely destitute spiritually and can do nothing to deliver yourself from your dire situation. Jesus is saying that no matter your status in life, you must recognize your spiritual poverty before you can come to God in faith to receive the salvation He offers. When Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” He is declaring that, before we can enter God’s kingdom, we must recognize the utter worthlessness of our own spiritual currency and the inability of our own works to save us.”

The meek are those who quietly submit themselves to God, to His Word and to His rod, who follow His directions, and comply with His designs, and are gentle toward all men.

~ Matthew Henry

Scriptures & References:

1 Peter 3:4

Matthew 5:5

Romans 8:28

Isaiah 41:17

Matthew 21:5

Matthew 11:29

Ephesians 4:29

Philippians 4:5

1 Peter 3:15

James 1:5

James 3:17

Cultivating a Gentle Spirit @Thankful Homemaker

What Does it Mean to Be Poor in Spirit? @Got Questions

Studies in the Sermon on the Mount by D. Martin Lloyd Jones

One Comment

  1. What a blessing you are! Thank you for this podcast. The references, the scripture, your soothing voice…are so timely for me and so many. My current struggle is that my 32 year old son has decided to end his marriage of 4 years. He is not living a Christ centered life so his reasons are more worldly. She doesn’t give me what I need, she isn’t motivated to be better, there is someone better out there for me. He knows this will destroy his wife. He loves her but is not in love with her. They have been to a Christian counselor and there have been improvements but he is tired of ‘doing it all’. She comes from a broken home, has very little self worth and has a learning disability. My son is a go getter, highly motivated and money/goal oriented. He comes to my husband and I for advice and we listen and encourage. Sometimes I feel we are supporting his decision more than sharing the truth of God. It is heartbreaking.
    How do we respond? How do we share God’s perspective in all of this in a way he will hear? He has a good heart- he is so emotional when they do meet and discuss their future. I keep praying God will intervene and heal their wounds, help each of them to see each other with love- the love they felt when they married. I know I have no control in this and that God will use this to teach and grow. But at what cost? There I go- questioning Him.
    I see this as a marital valley that they can work through with help from their amazing counselor and come out stronger. But my son has decided they are incompatible.
    If you have any advice, scripture or past podcast you feel would benefit, I would so appreciate it.
    My husband and I moved in May of this year and left our church home. I have not yet found a new church. I have sisters in Christ who are praying but feel a bit isolated.
    Thank you. Bless you. God’s Got This❤️

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