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Your Best Parenting is Done By Prayer

by Marci Ferrell
Motherhood Prayer

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As a parent, it is my job to love, speak truth, teach, train and most importantly pray for my children. I can’t micromanage or control their lives. #prayer #children #parenting #prayingmothers @mferrell

 

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

~ John 15:5

In the verse above “apart from me you can do nothing” is a continual reminder that I am utterly dependent on the Lord to do anything. There are many things I can do without dependence on Christ but the reality is I have achieved “nothing” in God’s sight.

This is so true in the raising of our children. I have learned over the years that I am helplessly dependent on the Lord. I can’t parent on my own. As parents, we can’t change the hearts of our children. Only the Lord is able to change their hearts.

This truth should continually bring us to our knees in prayer but many times we find ourselves thinking we can do life on our own. As a parent of now-adult children, I can share that these are the more difficult years of life as the decisions and the difficulties they face are much more challenging than when they were young.

“It didn’t take me long to realize that I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.”

~ Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

What Does Dependence on God Look Like?

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4:6-7

Our youngest son is not a believer and has been living on his own. The tendency of my sinful heart can be anxiousness and worry. All this tells me is that I desire to have control over the situation. This is not the example Jesus set before me. Jesus was utterly dependent on the Father and turned to Him in prayer continually (John 5:19, John 5:30, Luke 5:16, John 12:49). I know I don’t have control over the choices and decisions my adult son makes. I can speak the truth and give guidance but in the end, I need to put my trust in the Lord and His plans for my son’s life.

As a parent, it is my job to love, speak the truth, teach, train and most importantly pray for my children. I can’t micromanage or control their lives. It isn’t my job and it isn’t my life to do that with.

As our children age into the middle and high school years and then into adulthood, we realize we have less and less control over their thoughts, opinions, and actions. This is the time we as parents can begin to panic and start to try and take more control. It may at times lead to rebellion maybe not outwardly but inwardly within their hearts.

I am reminded that the things that are most important in life and in my children’s lives are the ones that I can’t control. I can’t control their salvation, who they will marry, if they will lose a job, choices they will make on a daily basis that may not seem wise to me, and the list goes on and on.

It is comforting to see how the moment I lift my anxious thoughts to the Lord and stop trying to control the situation on my own and in my own strength, how my anxiousness and worry shifts to resting in perfect peace in the Lord. There have been many situations I spent time anxiously worrying about the outcome and the Lord took care of it in His perfect timing and in His perfect way. God does a much better job of being God than I do.

God does a much better job of being God than I do. Click to Tweet

Our dependence on God starts by spending time in the Word. We need to know who God is and what His desires are and this comes from studying the Bible. In  John 15:5 “abide in me” reminds me to be in prayer with the One who I love and who I want to know more of. I want to share with Him all that is in my heart and trust in His work in and through all situations of my life. I need to be reminded that the Lord is the only One that can bring about change. Time spent in fellowship with other believers is of utmost importance too as they are an encouragement in speaking truth to my life. The Lord has graciously given us a church family on this earth to love, care, pray for, and encourage one another. Don’t neglect the importance of meeting together with one another.

Praying Like a Child for Your Child

One of the areas of scripture that is an encouragement to me is when Jesus tells his disciples to become like little children. (Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:14-15, Luke 10:21). I am reminded of how little children are when they come to us as parents with requests. They typically tend to just blurt them out. Little children say exactly what is on their minds and hearts.

Children are fully dependent on parents for everything. As we get older we become more and more independent. We need to be reminded to go back to living as dependent children. Living as a dependent child to the Lord in the everyday moments of life is the best example we can give to our children. Letting them see we are utterly helpless without the work of the Lord in our lives is more powerful than trying to let them think we have it all together.

Many times we feel like our prayer lives have to be ultra spiritual. We need to become like little children and just tell the Lord what is on our mind. Open your heart to the Father. Just share with Him your weaknesses and failures in parenting. Let Him know your struggles (He already does) but when we open up to Him and admit our failures and weaknesses and rely on His strength is when true change can happen.

May God give us more grace to pray for and with our children.

“Prayer is bringing your helplessness to Jesus.”

~ Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

Prayer is bringing your helplessness to Jesus Click to Tweet

Related Resources:

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, Paul E. Miller

Podcast: Trusting God in the Midst of a Trial

A Prayer for Our Husbands

 

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Related posts:

  1. EP 45: Our Best Parenting is Done by Prayer
  2. Praying God’s Word Over Our Children
  3. Podcast EP 56: Prayer (Spiritual Disciplines Series)
  4. Motherhood: Delighting in Our Children {Free eBook}


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« Weekend Coffee Break {October 27th}
Podcast Ep. 4: What Does True Biblical Friendship Look Like? »
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Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
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Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
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We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
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Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
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Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
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Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
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It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
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Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
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1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
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Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
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We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
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So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
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I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
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Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
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Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
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Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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