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Gospel-Driven Encouragement for Homemakers

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Your Best Parenting is Done By Prayer

by Marci Ferrell
Motherhood Prayer

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I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

~ John 15:5

In the verse above “apart from me you can do nothing” is a continual reminder that I am utterly dependent on the Lord to do anything. There are many things I can do without dependence on Christ but the reality is I have achieved “nothing” in God’s sight.

This is so true in the raising of our children. I have learned over the years that I am helplessly dependent on the Lord. I can’t parent on my own. As parents, we can’t change the hearts of our children. Only the Lord is able to change their hearts.

This truth should continually bring us to our knees in prayer but many times we find ourselves thinking we can do life on our own. As a parent of now-adult children, I can share that these are the more difficult years of life as the decisions and the difficulties they face are much more challenging than when they were young.

“It didn’t take me long to realize that I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.”

~ Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

What Does Dependence on God Look Like?

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4:6-7

Our youngest son is not a believer and has been living on his own. The tendency of my sinful heart can be anxiousness and worry. All this tells me is that I desire to have control over the situation. This is not the example Jesus set before me. Jesus was utterly dependent on the Father and turned to Him in prayer continually (John 5:19, John 5:30, Luke 5:16, John 12:49). I know I don’t have control over the choices and decisions my adult son makes. I can speak the truth and give guidance but in the end, I need to put my trust in the Lord and His plans for my son’s life.

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As a parent, it is my job to love, speak the truth, teach, train and most importantly pray for my children. I can’t micromanage or control their lives. It isn’t my job and it isn’t my life to do that with.

As our children age into the middle and high school years and then into adulthood, we realize we have less and less control over their thoughts, opinions, and actions. This is the time we as parents can begin to panic and start to try and take more control. It may at times lead to rebellion maybe not outwardly but inwardly within their hearts.

I am reminded that the things that are most important in life and in my children’s lives are the ones that I can’t control. I can’t control their salvation, who they will marry, if they will lose a job, choices they will make on a daily basis that may not seem wise to me, and the list goes on and on.

It is comforting to see how the moment I lift my anxious thoughts to the Lord and stop trying to control the situation on my own and in my own strength, how my anxiousness and worry shifts to resting in perfect peace in the Lord. There have been many situations I spent time anxiously worrying about the outcome and the Lord took care of it in His perfect timing and in His perfect way. God does a much better job of being God than I do.

God does a much better job of being God than I do.Click to Tweet

Our dependence on God starts by spending time in the Word. We need to know who God is and what His desires are and this comes from studying the Bible. In  John 15:5 “abide in me” reminds me to be in prayer with the One who I love and who I want to know more of. I want to share with Him all that is in my heart and trust in His work in and through all situations of my life. I need to be reminded that the Lord is the only One that can bring about change. Time spent in fellowship with other believers is of utmost importance too as they are an encouragement in speaking truth to my life. The Lord has graciously given us a church family on this earth to love, care, pray for, and encourage one another. Don’t neglect the importance of meeting together with one another.

Praying Like a Child for Your Child

One of the areas of scripture that is an encouragement to me is when Jesus tells his disciples to become like little children. (Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:14-15, Luke 10:21). I am reminded of how little children are when they come to us as parents with requests. They typically tend to just blurt them out. Little children say exactly what is on their minds and hearts.

Children are fully dependent on parents for everything. As we get older we become more and more independent. We need to be reminded to go back to living as dependent children. Living as a dependent child to the Lord in the everyday moments of life is the best example we can give to our children. Letting them see we are utterly helpless without the work of the Lord in our lives is more powerful than trying to let them think we have it all together.

Many times we feel like our prayer lives have to be ultra spiritual. We need to become like little children and just tell the Lord what is on our mind. Open your heart to the Father. Just share with Him your weaknesses and failures in parenting. Let Him know your struggles (He already does) but when we open up to Him and admit our failures and weaknesses and rely on His strength is when true change can happen.

May God give us more grace to pray for and with our children.

“Prayer is bringing your helplessness to Jesus.”

~ Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life

Prayer is bringing your helplessness to JesusClick to Tweet

Related Resources:

A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, Paul E. Miller

Podcast: Trusting God in the Midst of a Trial

A Prayer for Our Husbands

 

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Related posts:

  1. EP 45: Our Best Parenting is Done by Prayer
  2. Praying God’s Word Over Our Children
  3. Podcast EP 56: Prayer (Spiritual Disciplines Series)
  4. Our Hearts as Mothers – {and a free eBook on Motherhood: Delighting in our Children}


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thankfulhomemaker

Marci Ferrell
"Self Pity is a death that has no resurrection, a "Self Pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink."⁣
~ Elisabeth Elliot⁣
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The above quote is taken from yesterday's Episode 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Pity - link to the podcast episode in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows in my profile).
I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wi I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wives, and mothers.  How many times do we focus on our needs that aren’t met?  Unfair situations or circumstances?  Self-pity is a selfish tendency that takes our eyes off Christ and puts them on ourselves.  We forget that “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Are we able to give God “thanks in all things”?⁣
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Come take a listen to EP 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Pity at the link in my profile (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your household is the most important schoolroom y "Your household is the most important schoolroom your children will ever know. And the lessons they learn don't begin and end when you crack open the family Bible. They are always watching and learning from your example—often without even realizing it. That's a tremendous responsibility and opportunity for Christian parents—one that we must make the most of, for God's glory and our children's good."⁣
 ~ John MacArthur⁣
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Come listen to EP 20: The Blessings of Loving Our Children at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"The visible church is where you will find Christ' "The visible church is where you will find Christ's kingdom on earth, and to disregard the kingdom is to disregard its King."⁣
~ Michael Horton⁣
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Read - Building Loving Relationships In Your Church Family at the link in my bio @thankfuhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not a Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;  I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.⁣
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Israel is being refined for the honor and glory of the Lord. I need the reminder that everything the Lord allows in my life is for my good and His glory. All that He does and allows is to further His eternal purposes. ⁣
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He continues to remove the dross from my life in the furnace of affliction, and through each trial and circumstance of my life, the hope is I'm becoming more and more molded and shaped into the image of Christ. ⁣
⁣
Susan Huntington shared on this passage:⁣
"...if our blessed God sees that the disciple, like his Master, must be made perfect through sufferings, ought we not to welcome every means which will conduce to this blessed end? Can we desire to be babes in Christ all our days? If it is a proof of sonship to be chastised, may it not prove a special favor to be greatly chastised? ⁣
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If we were asked what the greatest good is, should we not answer that it is conformity to God? If we were asked what the best circumstances are for the Christian to be placed in, should we not answer that they are those that will, most constantly and most effectually, promote his conformity to God? Shall we then pray for afflictions? By no means. We are weak, and are crushed before the moth. We should not pray for what we do not know that we could bear. ⁣
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We should habitually pray for conformity to God, and quietly leave it to Him to determine by what means He will effect this blessed end."⁣
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-Excerpt taken from my favorite devotional - Seasons of the Heart: A Year of Devotions from One Generation of Women to Another by Donna Kelderman (link to the book is in my profile @thankfulhomemaker - click on the link under the blue arrows, and then this image).
Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we've all heard, and we all agree with, but deep down, we're like, okay, what does that look like? Or how do I make that practical in my day-to-day life when my marriage is hard? Or the kids are out of control? Or there's an illness in my family, or I'm just stuck in a sinful pattern? Or the house is in chaos, and I don't know where to begin? ⁣
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The reality is we're always saying something to ourselves in our minds, especially in those moments of chaos or difficulty. ⁣
Is what we're speaking to ourselves centered on the truths of God's Word, or are we buying into the lies of the world? ⁣
We need to be talking to ourselves and not just listening to ourselves. But what do we need to be talking to ourselves about? ⁣
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This is what we're going to work through together in EP 69: Preaching the Gospel to Yourself - link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your worst days are never so bad that you are bey "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."⁣
~ Jerry Bridges⁣
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Read more at God's Blessing Does Not Depend On Our Performance at the link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
How many times at church do you find yourself disc How many times at church do you find yourself discussing non-spiritual things? As believers, our relationships with others in the body of Christ are unlike anything non-believers will ever experience. It is such a joy when you come across another Christian that you haven't met before, and because of the common bond of Christ, it is as if you have known them forever.⁣
⁣
I have a favorite book that gets used quite often by Donald S. Whitney called Simplify Your Spiritual Life. In the section, Simplifying our Spiritual Life with Others, he guides us to drive the conversations into the spiritual. Wouldn't we all as believers like our conversations with other believers to be directed towards things related to knowing God, Bible reading and application, theology, evangelism, and prayer, to name a few.⁣
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Mr. Whitney shares some questions that are a natural help in directing your conversations with your brothers and sisters in the faith to the spiritual.  This is a handy list to keep in your Bible, planner, or purse.⁣
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The link to the questions is in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"If there is one maverick molecule in all the univ "If there is one maverick molecule in all the universe, then God is not sovereign. And if God is not sovereign, He is not God."⁣
~R. C. Sproul
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