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Are You For Your Husband?

20 questions to make the Gospel come alive in your marriage

I came across a great article entitled,  Does your spouse know you are for him/her?  Let me share a list of questions we as wives should be asking ourselves of how we are making the gospel come alive in our marriages from 

“The two greatest things that could ever happen to a man is to live in the overflowing awareness of God’s pleasure and to experience his wife’s undeniable affection. One of the most practical ways a wife could live out the Gospel is to practically give it out to her husband.”
~Rick Thomas

20 questions to make the Gospel come alive in your marriage

Paul gives us a way to think about God’s love for us. He does not just say, “God loves you,” he proves it–he shows us. With that in mind, here are some thoughts that will aid you as you think about the Gospel and its practical out-workings toward your husband.

  1. Are you aware of the power you have over your husband?
  2. Do you love your husband?
  3. Do you respect your husband?
  4. Are you quick, ready, and willing to forgive your husband?
  5. Are you quick, ready, and willing to ask him to forgive you?
  6. Do you defer to him, which is one way you can help him to be a better leader?
  7. What is your first thought when you think about your husband? Is it a synonym of love?
  8. Would you be characterized as a nag or an encourager? (This question is talking about your regular patterns, not any one episode. We all have episodes of sin.)
  9. Do you talk negatively about him to others? Is he aware of this?
  10. How would other people describe your attitude and affection for your husband?
  11. Will you ask them–those people who will tell you the truth?
  12. Are you actively loving him, even though he does not deserve your love all the time?
  13. Do you wait to love him after he changes, after he meets your preferences and expectations? (Think Gospel here: How does God treat you? Does He love you after you change or does He love you even when you’re not changing?)
  14. Do you punish your husband when he does not meet your expectations? If so, how do you do it? Anger? Silent treatment? Withhold sex?
  15. How are you humbly leading your husband by your Gospel-motivated example? (I’m talking about leading him by not being out front.)
  16. Has your behavior assisted in pushing your husband toward other people or things? If so, how so?
  17. Will you write out the answers to these questions and begin making a plan for repentance, if you need to repent of anything?
  18. Will you begin thanking God if He has brought sinful attitudes and behaviors to light?
  19. Will you talk to your husband about these things?
  20. Will you ask your husband if he is assured you are for him and then ask him to give you specific examples for why he answered the way he did?
~Above Questions Taken from  – You can read the entire article here.  (Please note I changed the word spouse where Rick had it to husband since my audience is women.)


Related Helpful Links:

Loving our Husbands

Who pays for your spouse’s sin: Christ or your spouse?

Drive By Marriage



  1. Keri at Growing in His Glory says:

    This post is what I needed to read this morning. I’m “battling” with my husband when we need to be working together. I’m not respecting him like I should and it’s evident in the way he’s responding to me. I see it, yet in my pride, I won’t say “I’m sorry” and mean it. Thank you for bringing my sin to light.

    Blessings to you,

  2. Alison Wood says:

    Great list. My husband time adn time tells me the most important thing I can do in our marriage is respect him. If we respect our husbands, many of the other problems go away. If we respect him we won’t belittle or talk about him behind his back. But, first and foremost, we are able to be the wife he needs if we are walking with the Lord. I am pinning this list:)Visiting from Pint-sized Treasures

  3. Love this list! These questions are marriage saving and important to ask ourselves. It’s not always his fault when things go awry. Sometimes we desperately need to look hard in the mirror.

  4. Our Neck of the Woods says:

    What a great post! I really enjoyed this. Recently we had a series at church on marriage and we touched on a lot of the same topics you have here. It’s a great reminder!

  5. A Proverbs 31 Wife says:

    I love this! Definitely something we all need to work very hard on.
    I would love for you to link this up at Matrimonial Mondays 🙂

  6. The topics you select to blog about are continually an encouragement to me. For some reason, I don’t often find your comment button, so there are many more that I have wanted to thank you for besides this post.

  7. Angie Salinas-Benjamin says:

    @Womanhood With Purpose
    Beautiful, Thanks for sharing this powerful article!

Comments are closed.