After being married over thirty years and over half of those being Christians, sadly we have dealt with much sin in our marriage. Sometimes well and sometimes not so well. I wanted to just share some thoughts that I shared with a dear friend recently on addressing our husband’s sin.

I have learned it is always best to search my heart first and go to the Lord in prayer before even going to my husband. Let me please share I don’t do this every time. Unfortunately, I mess up more than I would care to admit but I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who offers much grace and forgiveness and an earthly husband who does too.

Here are some thoughts next time you have a sin issue that you aren’t sure how to address with your husband. (Please note I am not talking about an issue that is abuse and needs outside intervention. If you are in this type of situation please seek help.)

1. Taking it to the Lord first in prayer is always best as maybe the situation can end there and may not need to be addressed.
2. Make sure you address the log in your own eye before you address the speck in your husband’s.
3. Does the issue truly need to be addressed or is it able to be overlooked in the way of “love covers a multitude of sins” (see excerpt below)
4. If it is a sin that needs to be addressed can you do it in a God glorifying manner? Can you approach your husband with an attitude of humility and a desire to see the Lord glorified instead of an attitude of self-righteousness?

I’m not addressing big sins that may need outside help but just the day to day issues we deal with as sinners saved by grace living together here on this earth as Pilgrims. Life is hard, but we forget so easy that the Lord is using these day to day issues to continue to sanctify us and mold us more into the likeness of His Son – Jesus.

How do we respond when we are sinned against? How do we address it in a way that points the other person to Christ? How would we desire our husband to address the sin in our lives? These difficulties are meant to draw us into a closer relationship and dependency on the Lord. We realize so quickly we can do nothing without Him. Look to Christ and continue to show respect and love and care for your husband with the hope of pointing Him to Jesus in all things.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

“When we are wronged our calling is to practice a careful moral calculus. Is this offense one I should let go of? Is it among the multitude that love covers? Or is this offense grievous enough that love means confronting in grace my brother? Sadly what we usually do is think we are practicing the former while actually holding grudges and putting miracle-grow on roots of bitterness. Peace in the church calls us to under-accuse, over-repent and over-forgive. Let us not be afraid to call sin sin, but let us not be slow to forgive it and to look past it.”

~Read the rest of Love Covers a Multitude of Sins at the Ligonier Blog here.

If you have a few minutes this is an excellent article on dealing with sin in our marriages and really all relationships – Who pays for your spouse’s sin: Christ or your spouse?

“If I truly understand the Gospel in the moment of my wife’s sin, my response should be a Gospel-motivated sacrifice rather than a self-centered punishment.”

Rick Thomas