EP 200: When My Day Doesn’t Go as Planned: Trusting God’s Providence
Inside: What does it look like to trust God’s providence when things don’t go as planned?
Estimated reading time: 15 minutes
Listen to the Podcast:
I am a planner. I like to plan my day, and I would guess many of you do too. I’m so grateful for my calendar and task list to keep me focused on where I need to be and what I need to do, but my days rarely go as planned.
I don’t have those days as much as I used to as a young mom with kiddos underfoot, but even now as an empty nester, I still have days when I wake up, plan my day all out, write my tasks down on my 3×5 card, and get started, and then it all goes sideways. Someone from church needs a ride to the doctor. My husband needs me to run an errand. A friend needs me to watch her children.
As a homemaker, my days can be very fluid. Interruptions and needs pop up that never made it onto my task list or calendar, and in a moment my whole day can change.
So how do we handle all the changes in our day that don’t fit into our plan? What is usually our first response? What about those moments when you’re rushing to get out the door because you’re already late, and your little one spills a glass of milk all over the kitchen floor? Or when you’re finally getting to a task that has been on your list for what seems like forever, and right in the middle of it something comes up and you have to set it aside?
I’d like to say I respond with a cheerful heart, a big smile on my face, and lovely thoughts in my head. Ummm, sadly that’s not the case most of the time. Usually frustration or impatience starts in my mind, and sometimes it comes out in my attitude and my response to the situation. Instead of patiently responding to whatever the interruption might be, what’s usually going through my mind is, I don’t have time for this right now.
And when it isn’t just a few minutes but the whole day that changes, and dinner still isn’t started and the laundry is still sitting there at bedtime, I can start to feel behind and overwhelmed, like I’ve somehow failed. So much of that comes from wanting my day to go my way. My list and my agenda become more important to me than the Lord’s agenda for my day.
So what does faithfulness look like when the day God has given me isn’t the day I planned? How do we plan wisely while still holding our plans with an open hand?
Proverbs 16:9 reminds us:
The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
We make our plans, but the Lord establishes our steps. It is good for us to plan, but we do so remembering that the Lord may have something different for our day than we expected.
What Is God’s Providence?
Pastor Ray Pritchard describes providence as “God’s gracious oversight of the universe.” God’s providence comes from His grace. He isn’t just in charge. He is kind and caring, and He is directing every part of our lives.
Jerry Bridges’ book Trusting God helped me understand that there are no coincidences in our lives as believers. Our God cares about all the details of our lives, the big and the small, and this truth is the reminder I need on ordinary days as a homemaker, because so many of the details of my day are small.
If something has come into my life, it is only through His loving hand, so it is for my good and His glory. Nothing is by chance, but everything is by His good providence.
God sees the big picture. In my book Homemaking Matters, I shared the picture of a tapestry. We just see the messy underside, but God sees the whole beautiful finished picture.
As homemakers, that messy underside includes all those things that weren’t on our list, like the spilled milk or the friend who stopped by and just needed a listening ear. We forget that every thread has a purpose, and He cares about every one of them. It is all part of a bigger story we don’t see, but we can trust the Weaver, because He is putting it all together. When that tapestry is finished, we’ll see the whole beautiful picture.
One of the most comforting passages to me is Matthew 10:29–31.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29–31 (ESV)
If our good God cares about the sparrow and numbers the hairs on our head, then He cares about the traffic that made us late for the appointment and the spilled milk and our little one who woke up not feeling well in the middle of the night.
These are the moments when I need to adjust my schedule, but it’s in these moments I’m reminded that it is the Lord who appoints my portion. Not one of these changes in my schedule was a surprise to Him. They were to me! But He perfectly planned my day by His good providence, because He knows what is needed in my day to accomplish His purposes in me and in others, and I can trust Him with that.
Hebrews 1:3 is a reminder that if Christ upholds the universe, I can surely trust Him with my day. I need to receive all things from Him for my good.
Why Plan If God Is in Control?
There are so many good things I want to do, especially when it comes to caring for the people the Lord has placed in my life. Planning is one way I remember to do them.
I plan meals because I want to feed my family well. I care for our home because I want it to be a warm, loving, and comfortable place for my family and anyone else the Lord brings through our door. I also want to remember to encourage my family, church family, and friends and to take time to check in on them.
Having some good systems in place is a real help to me. I’ve shared many times how thankful I am for my morning routine, because I can get a lot in before the day really gets rolling. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been grateful to have dinner in the crock pot in the morning on a day when the rest of it went sideways. It was such a blessing to come home to the smell of dinner already made.
If I didn’t keep a calendar and a task list, I would forget far more than I care to admit. Even with my lists, I still forget so much. Usually it involves people. I wish I remembered more often to pray for someone, give her a call, or check in on her.
My prayer list helps me love others well too. As I pray for someone, I may be reminded to send her a note or a text and let her know I’m praying for her. Sometimes it reminds me that I haven’t checked in with her for a while.
Planning isn’t the problem. It is such a good and useful tool that helps us care for our responsibilities and the people the Lord has given us. Planning helps us use the time the Lord has given us wisely, “making the best use of the time” (Ephesians 5:16), and be faithful with what He’s entrusted to us.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13–15 (ESV)
When James tells us to say “If the Lord wills,” he isn’t telling us not to plan. The problem comes in when we plan our days and leave God out. We don’t seek Him or depend on Him or trust Him as we are planning our days.
On those days when I leave God out of my planning (and there are more than I would like to admit), it’s usually a rushed morning when I missed my time with the Lord or didn’t take time to pray over my plans for the day. It’s on those days I can find myself relying on my flesh and not walking in the Spirit, so my responses to the interruptions and changes in plans aren’t as gracious as on the days when my heart is focused on the Lord and my eyes are on Christ, knowing He plans my day.
Pastor Steven Cole says that God governs the daily events of our lives “without in any way robbing us of the duty of making responsible choices.”
So I can still write out my list for the day on my 3×5 card. Making a plan for the day is a responsible choice, and I just want to make sure I’m making it with a heart turned toward the Lord.
Does Every Interruption Need My Immediate Attention?
Holding my plans with an open hand doesn’t mean I need to stop what I am doing every time I am interrupted. Knowing when to stop and when to keep going can be a challenge, and I’m still learning to discern the difference.
Sometimes I can let someone know that I’ll help as soon as I finish what I’m doing. Often the issue for me is not whether I stop, but how I respond when I can’t stop right then. Did I snap or sound irritated? Did I respond patiently and kindly?
If my grandchild or husband needs something that can wait, and I’m in the middle of something I need to finish, like making dinner or planting flowers with my hands in a bit of a mess, then whatever the need is may just have to wait.
But there are times I do stop, and I’m so grateful I did. It might be my granddaughter showing me an art creation she’s excited about, or my husband needing my thoughts on a situation at work. If I hadn’t stopped, I might have missed those moments.
The calls, texts, and emails can be another challenge. I can easily feel as though I need to answer everything as soon as it comes in, but I don’t. I can build time into my day to respond to those things. I don’t need to be on call and available all the time.
I sometimes miss the years when the phone was attached to the wall and we didn’t even have an answering machine. If we weren’t home or couldn’t answer it, people simply called back later.
I appreciate those times so much more now. It seemed like there was more quiet in the day, without the constant notifications or calls or texts wherever you are. I may not pick up my phone right away, but it’s still a distraction and takes my mind away from whatever I’m doing.
I need the Lord’s wisdom to know when to stop and when to keep going. Sometimes love means setting aside what I am doing and giving someone my full attention. James reminds us:
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 1:5 (ESV)
Our wisdom comes from God, through His Word and the Spirit at work in us. We are in continual need of divine wisdom. We need help to navigate our situations and circumstances in a God-honoring way. So often we tend to rely on our own wisdom, but we need to pray and ask the Lord to help us in these moments.
When we ask God for His wisdom, we are asking Him to help us respond like Christ. The interruption isn’t always keeping us from the work God has for us that day. Often it is the very work He planned.
What Is God Doing When My Day Changes?
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Romans 8:28–29 (ESV)
As a younger believer, when I read Romans 8:28, I thought it meant everything would work out great. It says “good,” right? I knew what I considered to be good, and surely that’s what God meant. But God’s good is different from my idea of good.
God’s good comes out in Romans 8:29, and it is to make me more like Christ. So whatever comes about in my days, God is using for my good, because He is sanctifying me and removing the dross in my life to make me more Christlike. When my days don’t go as I think they should and I find myself getting frustrated, it shows how much I want control and want things to go just as I planned them.
I think of seasons I wouldn’t have chosen, like caring for my husband’s parents through hospice in our home. Our dining room became a care space. That season revealed so much of what was in my heart. It brought out my impatience, my selfishness, and my desire for things to be easier or more on my schedule. I saw that in myself, and it was humbling. But that season also grew my dependence on the Lord. It grew my prayer life and my time in the Word, and it caused me to dig deeper and study His sovereignty in suffering and trials.
We had many nurses, aides, and hospice workers coming in and out of our home, and the Lord opened so many doors for conversations about Christ. It was a reminder to me that this was not only about caring for them. The Lord was doing something bigger. He was using that season to make Himself known.
My first response to hard changes in our circumstances may not be a God-honoring one, but in time God moves my heart to see them as good, knowing they have come from the hand of my Abba Father, who so loves me and desires what is best for me.
So to my young mamas who feel like their whole days are just interruptions of potty training and meals and picking up, please hold fast to the reminder that those things we consider interruptions are the work the Lord has for us. All those interrupted days are shaping you more into the likeness of Christ. It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the day and forget about Him, so keep your eyes on Jesus in those times. God is at work in every moment, so don’t lose sight of that.
Entrusting the Unfinished Work to the Lord
I need to stop and ask the Lord to help me see what truly needs to be done before the day ends. Most of the time, I already know what those things are. Maybe it is getting a meal on the table, washing the dishes, finishing one load of laundry, or paying the bill that is due. Some things really can’t wait until tomorrow, but many things on my list can.
Most days, I simply move those unfinished tasks to the next day, or even a day or two ahead if they don’t need immediate attention. It is amazing how much really isn’t as important as I thought it was.
I can also ask for help. We often forget that one, don’t we? Our husbands may be glad to help if we let them know what we need. Our children (and grandchildren) are such good helpers, and part of our job as mothers (and grandmothers) is teaching them to care for a home and to serve and notice the needs around them.
And then there is my favorite reminder to just do the next thing. Not everything, but the next thing. Looking at our whole list can feel overwhelming, but I can choose one task and begin there.
Changing my plan is not failing. I can work hard and diligently and still come to the end of the day with work left undone. There will always be more that could be done. I find this is true for almost every day.
In saying that, I want to make it clear that trusting God’s sovereignty doesn’t excuse laziness or neglect. If I’ve put things off or wasted my time, I need to confess that to the Lord and ask Him to help me be more diligent. But if the day just didn’t go as planned, I don’t need to feel guilty that I didn’t get it all done.
At the end of the day, especially when my list is still long, I need to bring my heart back to truth. My standing before the Lord is not based on how much I accomplished that day. It is based on Christ and His finished work for me. I don’t need to prove myself or earn God’s approval by completing everything on my list.
That doesn’t make my work unimportant. Colossians 3:23–24 calls me to work heartily as unto the Lord. I want to work hard and be faithful with the responsibilities He has given me. But I do that knowing Christ has already secured my place in God’s family. I am not working to earn the Father’s love. Because I belong to Christ, I am free to love and serve my Father and the people He has placed in my life.
Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Psalm 127:1–2 (ESV)
We are called to build and labor, but we labor in vain apart from God’s sustaining grace and power.
God made us finite and fragile. He made us to spend almost a third of our lives not doing anything except depending on him. Going to sleep is our way of saying, “I trust you God. You’ll be okay without me.”
Kevin DeYoung, Crazy Busy
So I can thank the Lord for what was accomplished, confess where I was sinful or neglectful, and entrust what remains to Him. I can put my head on that pillow and rest well, knowing His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23) and tomorrow is another day to love and serve Him.
I’m going to keep making plans. I will continue to use my calendar and make my lists and think ahead about the needs of my home and family. These are such good ways to love people and use my time well. But I want to remember to hold my plans with an open hand.
So the next time my plans change, before I react to whatever is in front of me, I want to pause, take a breath, and pray. I need to be mindful of responding in a way that honors the Lord. From there I can move on to whatever is next, whether that’s meeting someone’s need or cleaning up a mess.
When the day is done, I pray I was faithful with the tasks and the people the Lord put before me, even the ones that weren’t part of my plan. Finishing everything on my list while responding harshly or in frustration isn’t how I want my day to go. I want to end my day knowing that whatever God had planned, I responded with a heart that trusted everything in my day came from His hand, for my good and for His glory.
The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
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