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Are You Kind to Your Husband?

God's Word tells us to "put on" kindness.  Lets look at some ways we can extend kindness to our husbands on a daily basis. @mferrell

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ~ Galatians 5:22-23

Kindness is a sincere desire for the happiness of others; goodness is the activity calculated to advance that happiness. Kindness is the inner disposition, created by the Holy Spirit, that causes us to be sensitive to the needs of others, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. Goodness is kindness in action – words and deeds. Because of this close relationship, we often use the two words interchangeably.

~ Jerry Bridges

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

What is Kindness?

According to FreeDictionary online, “kind” is defined as generous, warm-hearted nature, charitable and considerate. Some synonyms of kindness are generous, considerate, goodness, merciful, and thoughtful. As we meditate on the above verses and look at the definition of kindness, does this describe our daily relationship with our husband?

The Greek word for kind in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is “Christos” which means –

fit, fit for use, useful virtuous, good manageable mild, pleasant (as opp. to harsh, hard sharp, bitter) of things: more pleasant, of people, kind, benevolent.

Kindness is an action that desires the happiness of others.  As believers, we show kindness because God showed undeserved kindness to us through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Kindness to our Husbands

When you were first dating your husband kindness happened naturally. You desired to please him. After we’re married and daily life happens, we tend to settle in and get slack in how we treat one another. Do you take the time to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him? Does he know that he is a blessing from God to you?

Are you more aware of what he does wrong than what he does right?  How many times do we magnify our husband’s weaknesses and forget to take the log out of our own eye? Proverbs 14:1 tells us that a wise woman builds up her home but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. When we respond unkindly to our husbands, we are tearing our homes down. There are no excuses for our unkind responses – we need to call them what they are: sin.

Our gracious God is the giver of kindness. The only way we will be able to persevere and show kindness in our marriages is through prayer as well as lining our lives up with God’s Word. We can not manufacture kindness in our own strength.  Kindness is an act of love expressed to our husbands through our words, deeds, and nonverbal expressions (that last one can sometimes be forgotten).

Jesus Christ is the foundation of our homes. Our marriages are to model the beautiful, tender relationship of Christ and the church on this earth to a lost world.

“Put On” Kindness

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,humility, meekness, and patience,
Colossians 3:12

God’s Word tells us to “put on” kindness. Let’s look at some ways we can extend kindness to our husbands on a daily basis. The list is not exhaustive, and because of the differences in our relationships, they may look different from one home to the next. The hope is to get you thinking and praying about ways to “put on” kindness in your own marriage. {Please share your thoughts, including the ways you show kindness in your marriage, in the comments section so we can be an encouragement to one another!}

-We were created to be his helper. Does your relationship with him take priority over your relationship with your children? Being kind to our husbands happens much easier when we are in the proper role God has called us to.

-Speak kindly about your husband to others.

-Pray for your husband before he leaves for work.

-Get enough rest and take care of yourself and your physical appearance.

-Keep the romance alive.

-Compliment him often. Do you thank him for working hard and providing for your family?

-Pay attention to his favorites – meals, outfits on you, or places to go on a date.

Be cheerful, and I am sure he loves a smile on your face.

Pray before you respond, and look at things from an eternal perspective.  Is it that difficult to pick his socks up off the floor? Clean up the bathroom after he uses it? We are called as believers to serve with a joyful heart. This was a sweet article and a good reminder of the gift of our husbands from a young widow. The Little Things I Miss About Being Married.

-There is much we need to learn to overlook in love. I am not talking about sins that truly need addressing, but remember, “love covers a multitude of sins.”

-When problems arise, work them out together in a Christ-honoring way. You are responsible for YOUR actions and behavior–not for your husbands.  Respond correctly, forgive when needed, and do not harbor bitterness or anger in your heart. Look to the example of Christ, who forgave us when we were undeserving sinners.

-We know we have truly forgiven when we no longer hold it against them. May we, through the strength of the Holy Spirit, respond in all situations with loving-kindness to our husbands.

Words are powerful, and our tongues are a dangerous weapon. By the grace of God, you can tame your tongue and speak words that are kind, used for building up, encouraging,  gentle, and pure.

Thankful people are a true joy to be around.  Offer thanks to your husband and let him know how much you appreciate him. Revive Our Hearts has a 30 Day Challenge to Encourage your Husband that every wife should go through yearly.

Today is a New Day

God’s mercies are new every morning. If you haven’t been showing kindness to your husband, repent, seek the grace of God, and He will give you a fresh start right now. Seek the Lord in prayer on ways you have not been showing kindness in your marriage and start making changes today. May we begin today by treating our husbands with kindness in our words and actions.

Kindness is a readiness to do good, to help, to relieve burdens, to be useful, to serve, to be tender, and to be sympathetic to others. It has been said, “Kindness is love in work clothes.”
Alexander Strauch


Related Resources:
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney



  1. I am so blessed by your words. I am so grateful that you are using your gift of your God-given wisdom and encouragement. I had been given a kind, encouraging, cheerful and respectful spirit, but some circumstances had started to change my spirit to ugliness and harshness (relatively speaking) which I never thought possible. I have young children and have had some big changes and needed some womanly encouragement. I did not find any, apart from my husband and the Lord. I am so grateful that your Godly words of encouragement have softened my bitter soul. Praise the Lord. For He is good.

  2. Jacqueline says:

    This is something I always need help with. I am glad to get encouragement and a reminder anytime. I just need to hold onto Paul’s words each and every day! Thank you for sharing and edifying women!

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