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Becoming Women Who Speak Words That Build Up

by Marci Ferrell
Biblical Womanhood Christian Living Encouragement Friendships

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How many times have we left a conversation and said to ourselves, "Why did I say that?" @mferrell

 

 

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! 

Psalm 141:3

How many times have we left a conversation and said to ourselves, “Why did I say that?” I have been guilty too many times for wanting to take words back that already left my mouth.  But we can't.  In James 3:2 it tells us that only the perfect man will not stumble in what he says and in James 3:8 we are reminded that no human being can tame the tongue.

Our words are powerful and can be so destructive.  How can we “bless our Lord” while we “curse people” from the same mouth (James 3:9-10)?

As Christians, every sinful word we have spoken is covered by the blood of Jesus on Calvary.  My hope in speaking words that honor and glorify the Lord can only be because of the saving work of Jesus on the Cross.  I need to pray daily to speak words that come from a heart transformed by His saving grace in my life.
 
How many times have we left a conversation and said to ourselves, Why did I say that? Click to Tweet
 
So what are some ways we can work towards being women who don’t sin with our tongues?
 

Pause, Think & Pray:

This came from a series of six questions that I have in written in my Bible and I’m not sure where they came from, but they may be a help to you in being prayerful and slow to speak.

  1.  Is this the time to say this?
  2.  Am I the person to say this?
  3.  Is it necessary?
  4.  Is it kind?
  5.  Is it true?
  6.  Do I need to say this?

Many times we don’t have to address everything that troubles or annoys us.  We need to learn when to let it go and look over an offense.

Think how small these things will seem when you’ve stepped into eternity.  Death will quiet us shortly.  Let grace quiet us now.
~ Matthew Henry

More Ways to Not Sin With Our Tongues:

  1. If you have sinned against another with your words make it right.  Confess the sin to God and make it right with the one whom you’ve sinned against.
  2.  Many times sinful words start because of bitterness in our hearts. Get rid of bitterness and put off slander and evil speaking.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.   ~ Ephesians 4:31

  1.  If it truly is an issue of sin in someone’s life than you talk directly to them and not someone else about them (Matthew 18:15, Galatians 6:1). Make sure you have prayed for them and that your heart’s desire is to see them restored.
  2.  Speak words that are kind, edify and build others up.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

~ Ephesians 4:32

  1.  Our thought life needs to be brought under control by the Spirit.  Where would we be without God’s grace and mercy? Pray to see and think about others with the same grace and mercy you have been given.
  2.  I love this one––pretty simple.  Talk less.

When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 

~ Proverbs 10:19

  1.  Take the time to pray and think before we speak (see questions above).
  2.  Really work hard at not listening or responding to gossip or slander. Some good questions to be mindful to ask ourselves if we’re the ones about to speak about another person are, “Would I mind if the person I’m talking about were standing right here?” and “Would I be willing to say it to their face?”
  3.  Do our words sound more like Jesus or Satan?  Are we spending more time accusing others or advocating for them? We need to use our tongues to minister grace to others.
  4.  Be mindful to offer grace when others sin against us with their words knowing we do the same to them and others.  

Closing Encouragements:

We may need help in this area and God didn’t intend for us to become mature believers on our own.  You may need to find a friend who also struggles in this area and help to keep each other accountable.  It may also be wise to find a friend who shows this grace of grace-filled speech and learn from them.

When others are speaking, focus on what they are saying and not what you are going to say next.  Be mindful that when we speak less we hear more (we also may sin less when words are few ???? – Proverbs 10:19).  Learn to actively and attentively listen to others and keep silent on the inside as well.  One of the first places you need to practice good listening and grace-filled speech in your own home.  

As we ponder the work the Lord did for us on the Cross so we could have new life and the gift of eternal life, may the words we speak only boast of Him and not of ourselves.  When we are reminded how much we have been forgiven, it should be easy to forgive others who sin against us with their words.

“As a result of grace, we have been saved from sin’s penalty. One day we will be saved from sin’s presence. In the meantime we are being saved from sin’s power.”
~Alistair Begg

 

Related Resources:


Podcast Episode: Taming Our Tongues

Respectable Sins

Resisting Gossip

How to Resist Gossip

Biblically Communicating with our Children

 

Related posts:

  1. Showing Self-Control With Our Tongues
  2. Modern Day Examples of Titus 2 Women
  3. EP 1: Taming Our Tongues
  4. 20 Questions to Help Build Intimacy in Your Marriage


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Marci Ferrell
Think to yourself before you respond to pause and Think to yourself before you respond to pause and pray. Two simple actions that take a moment but can give you wise words that are covered in gentleness, grace, and love.⁣
⁣
Quote from EP 60: Gently Correcting Our Children you can listen in at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We are called in Ephesians 4:29 to respond with wo We are called in Ephesians 4:29 to respond with words that give grace, encourage, and build up. This includes those hard moments when our kids are sinfully disobedient.⁣
⁣
Listen in to EP 60: Gently Correcting Our Children at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
By affliction, Christ . . .⁣ shows us our empti By affliction, Christ . . .⁣
 shows us our emptiness and weakness,⁣
 draws us to the throne of grace,⁣
 purifies our affections,⁣
 weans us from the world,⁣
 and makes us long for Heaven.⁣
~ J.C Ryle
This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help you think through your summertime schedule for your family. As you walk through it you'll determine what your family loves to do, leave room for spontaneity, and put together a simple daily routine to help your days run a bit smoother. ⁣
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Come download your free 8-page summertime guide here and get access to our whole library of printables when you do.
Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from @relearnhq about his new Gospel Project called MailtheGospel.org. You can get the gospel to anyone anywhere.
So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you fol So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you follow friends if you don’t yet!)- link to the podcast episode we talked about Homemaking to the Glory of God in my profile @thankfulhomemaker 

Repost from @reagantrose 
Godliness > Your Plans⁠
The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.⁣
~ Henry Ward Beecher⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
How many times does Sunday morning roll around and How many times does Sunday morning roll around and you find your heart in a state of chaos instead of calm to worship the Lord?  How many Sundays do you arrive at church and realize you haven’t taken the time all week to pray for your pastor or your church family? ⁣
⁣
I want to share with you some simple steps we can take to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord. ⁣
⁣
The hope today is to get you to understand the purpose and the mission of the local church and then to move on toward how we can proceed with some simple steps to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord.⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
"Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣ ⁣ Very lar "Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣
⁣
Very largely does the wife hold in her ⁣
hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness ⁣
and the highest good of the hearts that ⁣
nestle there. In the last analysis, home ⁣
happiness depends on the wife. ⁣
⁣
Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. ⁣
⁣
Her hands fashion its beauty. ⁣
⁣
Her heart makes its love. ⁣
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And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, ⁣
that no woman who has been called to be a wife, ⁣
and has listened to the call, should consider any⁣
price too great to pay, to be . . .⁣
 the light,⁣
 the joy,⁣
 the blessing,⁣
 the inspiration, ⁣
of a home. ⁣
⁣
The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, ⁣
filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing ⁣
something better than anything else her hands ⁣
could find to do beneath the skies.⁣
⁣
A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of ⁣
home happiness. God sends many beautiful things ⁣
to this world, many noble gifts; but no blessing is ⁣
richer than that which He bestows in a mother who ⁣
has learned love's lessons well, and has realized ⁣
something of the meaning of her sacred calling."⁣
⁣
~ J. R. Miller, "Secrets of Happy Home Life"
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