EP 182: Do You Have a Meek and Quiet Spirit?
Inside: A gentle and quiet spirit isn’t weakness. It is strength anchored in God, a beauty that lasts and glorifies Christ in every season.
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Peter’s words in 1 Peter 3:3–4 give us a beautiful contrast between the world’s view of beauty and God’s. The world emphasizes outward appearance, hairstyles, clothing, accessories, but the Lord is interested in something far more lasting: the hidden person of the heart. It’s not that Peter is forbidding jewelry or nice clothes, but he’s reminding us that true beauty, the kind that matters to God, is found in a heart adorned with Christlike character.
“Imperishable beauty” is a reminder that our outer self is wasting away day by day, but the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit doesn’t wrinkle or fade with time. It’s incorruptible. That means this kind of beauty lasts into eternity.
Even the placement of this passage in 1 Peter gives us insight. It comes right after a call to wives to submit to their husbands, even those who don’t obey the Word, and Peter says it’s the wife’s respectful and pure conduct that may win them without a word. In other words, the adornment of a godly character can do what no clever argument or outward appeal can. It reflects Christ.
“Here in a gentle and quiet spirit is beauty that never decays, as the outward body does. ‘Gentle’ is actually ‘meek’ or ‘humble’, and ‘quiet’ describes the character of her action and reaction to her husband and life in general. Such is precious not only to her husband but also to God.”
~John MacArthur
Listen to the Podcast Below (10 minutes) or read part of the episode below (5 minutes):
How do we respond when we have been wronged? Hurt by others? Suffer for doing what is right? Our Lord calls us to respond as women in a way different from the world. He desires us to put on a gentle and quiet spirit, one that reveals Him to the world around us and brings Him glory in all the circumstances of our lives.
Being gentle and meek doesn’t mean you have to change your personality. If you are an outgoing person, the Lord created you that way. Each of us has our own unique personality. You can be a quiet person on the outside and not have a meek and gentle spirit on the inside.
The word “gentle” in Scripture often carries the sense of meekness, which isn’t weakness, but it is so often defined as strength that is under God’s control. Jesus described Himself as “gentle and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29), and He is our perfect model. A woman with this kind of spirit doesn’t need to prove herself or win every argument. She trusts in the Lord and leans into His care.
The word “quiet” speaks more to the attitude of the heart than the volume of the voice. It’s a calmness of soul; a heart that is at rest because it is anchored in God. This doesn’t mean a woman never speaks up or shares her thoughts or opinions, but her spirit is not marked by anxiousness or turmoil. It reflects a settled peace that flows from trusting in the Lord.
A gentle and quiet heart isn’t loud with self. It isn’t driven by the need to be noticed or validated by others. It rests in God’s sovereignty and seeks to glorify Him rather than self.
In 2 Corinthians 10:1, Paul appeals to the church “by the meekness and gentleness of Christ.” He didn’t come with harshness or heavy-handed authority, but with the patience and humility that reflected Jesus. That’s our model too. Whether we’re facing tension in our marriage, a hard conversation with a friend, or a disagreement in the church, our tone and posture can either stir up conflict or bring peace. A gentle spirit doesn’t mean weakness; it means trusting the Lord enough to respond with calm and grace, even when it’s hard.
We should ask ourselves: Would others describe me as someone peaceful to be around?
A gentle and quiet spirit shows up in how we carry ourselves: in our tone, our reactions, our willingness to listen. It’s not about staying silent, but about having a heart that isn’t demanding or pushy. It’s a calm confidence in God’s leading, even when we don’t have control. This kind of woman doesn’t seek attention or rush to prove her point, but she brings kindness and grace into her relationships.
This is not something we can produce in ourselves. It’s the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5 reminds us that gentleness is a result of abiding in Christ. If you struggle in this area (raising my hand here), don’t try to will yourself into it; ask the Lord to cultivate this beauty in you. Spend time in His Word, behold Christ, and watch how He slowly transforms your heart to reflect His.
Let me leave you today with this prayer that is my prayer too for the Lord to continue to cultivate in my heart a meek and gentle spirit:
Teach me, Lord, to keep sweet and gentle in all the events of life, in disappointments, in thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.
~Author Unknown
Help me to put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.
Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes to me. Help me to use it that it may mellow me, not harden or embitter me; that it may make me broad in my forgiveness; kindly, sympathetic, and helpful.
What a great post and a great reminder as to how we should respond. Sometimes it’s so easy to just snap at people when they’ve hurt us or rubbed us the wrong way, but God’s way is so much better.
What a great topic! As a former blunt, rude, and harsh communicator, this has been a lesson in progress for me since becoming a follower of Christ. Thank you for breaking it down so well here!
The same line stood out to me as well. “That I may be the only one to suffer from them”
So often we want others to wallow in our misery with us. As the saying goes: If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I don’t want that to be true in my house!
Mary Beth
This is a special post. I skimmed through it the other day and came back to with more time and copied the quotes at the bottom.
I always appreciate your blog!!
Great post! This is something that I have really been thinking and praying about. It is hard to understand what meek and quiet means in our current day and age. No, I’m rarely quiet, but I have found that if I slow down on some of my talking, I am less likely to regret what I say.
Great post. The Lord has plenty of work to do on me in this area.
I especially liked this part: so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.
(You mean not giving it back or passive aggressively punishing someone?!)
Jesus create in me a clean heart!
Emily
www.weakandloved.com
Great post! I think its important to also remember that in this age of technology it is so much easier for people to forget to be humble and meek because they aren’t face to face with the person.
I fell into that trap not that long ago…I felt attacked by a comment and while I didn’t react by lashing out and being mean…I didn’t respond as I should have..but if I had been face to face 1)the person would have never said anything and/or 2) I wouldn’t have reacted the same way.
Of course, technology also does allow us to think very carefully about the words that we choose, lets us look up the Scripture and be wise, humble and meek…if we choose to use the technology that way (which we need to). 🙂