Inside: Treating your husband with respect is not something that your husband must first earn; it is something that you choose to show him. It is an underlying heart’s attitude that is to be prevalent regardless of your circumstances and in spite of your feelings. How hard are you willing to work at it?
How respectful are you to your husband? The way you talk to him? About him? We’re going to tear apart Ephesians 5:33, in which we as wives are not suggested to but commanded to show respect to our husbands whether or not we feel he deserves it. How would you feel if your husband only showed love to you when you earned it?
Pray and truly let the Lord search your heart for how you have been in the area of showing respect to your husband. Take the first step in your marriage by showing him respect unconditionally and in, and through it, you are honoring and being obedient to the Lord. See what happens in his heart and yours when you begin to look at him through the lens of Scripture and what God’s Word says about respecting our husbands.
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:33 ESV”
“However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].” ~ Ephesians 5:33 AMP
(AMP is the Amplified Bible, and it attempts to take both word meaning and context into account to accurately translate the original text from one language into another.)
When I read the amplified version, I thought about how often we glance at those two words of respect and reverence. The amplified version had much to add to that verse to expand on the meaning of the text.
There is a lot written in the area of respecting your husband, and I am just going to touch on it briefly today. I hope to get us thinking about how wonderful the whole concept is of showing respect to our husbands. Come tear apart the verse with me a bit to see if we can get a better grasp of what God’s Word means to respect our husbands.
1. Do you notice your husband? When he comes home from work? Before he leaves? Do you take the time to let him know you care about his day and take time to listen to him?
2. When we regard someone, we have care or concern for them. Or to think highly of them. Could this be said of us and how we treat our husbands? As you’re noticing him and listening to him talk, do you give careful thought to what he is saying? Do you have a genuine concern for what went on in his day?
3. How do we honor our husbands? When we speak of him to others, does it cause them to think well of him? How do we talk about him to our children?How do we honor our husbands? When we speak of him to others, does it cause them to think well of him? How do we talk about him to our children?
4. Do you prefer him over any other earthly relationship you have? Does he know you prefer to be with him above all other relationships you have on this earth?
5. Venerate is defined as showing deep respect for – you would treat him as something very special? Can this be said of you?
6. Do you esteem him, or another way to put it is to have high regard for him? Can you focus and put a high value on his good qualities? Everyone has good qualities, so concentrate on the good and not the negative in your relationship.
7. Deferring to him means you yield to his judgments. You highly value his opinion, and it has greater weight than your own or someone else’s.
8. Do you praise him to others? Does he know you have a high opinion of him? Do others know you have a high view of your husband?
9. Admiring him means truly enjoying him. Delighting in him, marveling in him, and ultimately feeling respect for him.
I’m saving love for last because if you are practicing all the above, you will find your love for your husband growing daily.
If you’re lacking in the above areas of showing respect to your husband, your love will be lacking.If you're lacking in the above areas of showing respect to your husband, your love will be lacking.
Sit with this list the next time you have time alone with the Lord and write down the areas where you are neglecting to show respect to your husband. Ask the Lord to help you do a better job of showing respect to your husband.
Please remember respecting our husbands is a command – if you have behaved disrespectfully, let’s call it what it is – SIN. Repent and confess it to the Lord, ask your husband for forgiveness, and be reminded that respecting your husband is not an option.
“Respecting authority is practically a lost art, but as a Christian wife, with God’s enabling grace, you can cultivate a respectful attitude. Circumstances come and go, husbands succeed and fail, some merit respect and others do not, but whatever your situation, you can by an act of your will show biblical respect to your husband and show love to God in the process. It is important to God. Treating your husband with respect is not something that your husband must first earn, it is something that you choose to show him. It is an underlying heart’s attitude that is to be prevalent regardless of your circumstances and in spite of your feelings. How hard are you willing to work at it?”
~Martha Peace, The Excellent Wife