My husband and I find ourselves in this next season of our lives with grown children. We are in a stage where our children are having children and we still have a son at home that we are continuing to prepare for the next role he will take on as a husband and father one day.
We don’t have all the answers and are continuing to learn but one thing we have learned that stands out above all others has to do with the attitude of their hearts.
When my daughter left home there were many areas I failed to train her in the way of home keeping. At first I had concern, but as I watched her blossom into maturity in the way she loved her Lord Jesus and her husband and children, the home keeping part was secondary.
I am not saying that we shouldn’t train our daughters to be keepers of their homes, but what I am saying is that we can’t prepare our children for every single task or difficulty that will come before them in their adult life. We need to focus on what is most important.
These are some things from our own marriage the Lord has taught us along the way that are important in the teaching and training of our children to be husbands and wives and parents who glorify the Lord in all things:
1. Spend time in prayer and in the Word of God.
2. Have the heart of a servant.
3. See what needs to be done and do it without being asked.
4. Continue to kill the sin of selfishness.
5. Put the needs of others above your own.
6. Love unconditionally.
7. Forgive, forgive, forgive.
8. Do not put unrealistic expectations on others.
9. Manage your time wisely.
10. Love is an action, something you choose to do.
Mom and Dad, your example in the above areas is so important too. Our children are watching what we do more than what we say. All the items above are important even if your child is called to singleness. They are attributes of godly Christian living that are beneficial to all areas of life. It isn’t so much that we are training them for marriage but we are training them to be Christians who have an impact in the sphere of influence the Lord has placed them in.
None of the above items are possible without the Spirit of God. We are helpless in and of ourselves. Be mindful that you can’t change the heart of your child, only the Lord can. As parents we need to continue to love them, model Christlikeness in your home and pray that the Lord would grab a hold of their hearts.
Relying on God’s strength and power is only possible by being born again. “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6
Considering Your Future Spouse
Loving Our Children Part One
Loving Our Children Part Two
Biblically Communicating with Our Children
Building Better Communication with Your Teen