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10 Thoughts on Preparing Our Children for Marriage

by Marci Ferrell
Adult Children Motherhood

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I’d love to help you simplify your meal planning. Check out my new menu planning course here.

My husband and I find ourselves in this next season of our lives with grown children. We are in a stage where our children are having children and we still have a son at home that we are continuing to prepare for the next role he will take on as a husband and father one day.  

We don't have all the answers and are continuing to learn but one thing we have learned that stands out above all others has to do with the attitude of their hearts. 

When my daughter left home there were many areas I failed to train her in the way of home keeping.  At first I had concern, but as I watched her blossom into maturity in the way she loved her Lord Jesus and her husband and children, the home keeping part was secondary. 

I am not saying that we shouldn't train our daughters to be keepers of their homes, but what I am saying is that we can't prepare our children for every single task or difficulty that will come before them in their adult life. We need to focus on what is most important.  

 
If we had to choose two things that are of the utmost importance in raising our sons and daughters for marriage and being future parents it would be their spiritual growth and their heart attitude. 

These are some things from our own marriage the Lord has taught us along the way that are important in the teaching and training of our children to be husbands and wives and parents who glorify the Lord in all things:

1.  Spend time in prayer and in the Word of God.
2.  Have the heart of a servant.
3.  See what needs to be done and do it without being asked.
4.  Continue to kill the sin of selfishness.
5.  Put the needs of others above your own.
6.  Love unconditionally.
7.  Forgive, forgive, forgive.
8.  Do not put unrealistic expectations on others.
9.  Manage your time wisely.
10. Love is an action, something you choose to do.  

Mom and Dad, your example in the above areas is so important too.  Our children are watching what we do more than what we say. All the items above are important even if your child is called to singleness.  They are attributes of godly Christian living that are beneficial to all areas of life.  It isn't so much that we are training them for marriage but we are training them to be Christians who have an impact in the sphere of influence the Lord has placed them in.  

None of the above items are possible without the Spirit of God.  We are helpless in and of ourselves. Be mindful that you can't change the heart of your child, only the Lord can.  As parents we need to continue to love them, model Christlikeness in your home and pray that the Lord would grab a hold of their hearts.  

Relying on God's strength and power is only possible by being born again.  “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6


Related Posts:
Considering Your Future Spouse
Loving Our Children Part One
Loving Our Children Part Two
Biblically Communicating with Our Children
Building Better Communication with Your Teen

Related posts:

  1. Loving Our Children – Part One
  2. Thoughts on Children and Manners
  3. Don’t Exasperate Your Children!
  4. Podcast Ep 40: Marriage Series #7 – Sexual Intimacy in Marriage


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Comments

  1. Erin Kelly says

    at

    I love this! I have a three year old and a one year old (both girls) and I am already praying for their spouses, if they ever choose to get married. I know when I got married I remember feeling like I was being slapped in the face because I realized how selfish I was! Marriage is meant to glorify God, and I think it also is to help us see our weaknesses so we can grow more with Him and our spouse. Great post!

Welcome to Thankful Homemaker

So thankful you’ve stopped by for a visit. Please grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit a bit. I hope to remind you that contentment in our role as homemakers begins with finding our satisfaction in Christ.

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Marci Ferrell
Contentment in our walk as believers is learned, j Contentment in our walk as believers is learned, just as Paul learned it, so do we as we walk this walk with the Lord. It does not come naturally to us. We know deep down the secret to contentment is to keep our eyes on the Lord in every situation. ⁣
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Come listen in to Our Need for Contentment at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Rather than mourning over sin, the world redefine "Rather than mourning over sin, the world redefines it, or worse, celebrates it."⁣
~ John MacArthur
There is no heart God cannot conquer.⁣ There is There is no heart God cannot conquer.⁣
There is no life He cannot change.⁣
There is no past He cannot forgive.⁣
~ Steve Lawson
What does it look like to live a fruitful life in What does it look like to live a fruitful life in the empty nest years?  What do I do now? What does my day-to-day life look like? Am I needed anymore? These are questions that raced through my mind as the empty nest season approached and was quickly upon me.⁣
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Come listen in to Fruitful Living in the Empty Nest Years at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"A Christian home should be a place of peace, and "A Christian home should be a place of peace, and there can be no peace where there is no self-denial."⁣
~ Elisabeth Elliot⁣
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Quote is taken from EP 102: Blessed are the Peacemakers - link to listen is in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"How much misery we would avoid if we permitted “the peace of Christ” to umpire in our hearts. How many words we would hold back if he were the arbitrator in our lives. How many sleepless nights we would forego if we did that. How the Church needs this too, “since as members of one body you were called to peace.”⁣
~ R. Kent Hughes⁣
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The above quote is taken from EP 102: Blessed are the Peacemakers - link to the episode is in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image). ⁣
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#sermononthemount #martynlloydjones #matthew5:9 #peacemakers  #Mathew 5-7
I’m so thankful to get to be part of this most e I’m so thankful to get to be part of this most excellent conference this year 😍. Please head over and follow @openheartsinaclosedworld to keep updated on all the details of this free online conference for Christian women 🥰
Posted @withregram • @openheartsinaclosedworld “Open Hearts in a Closed World” is an online conference that exists to bring glory to God and proclaim Christ crucified through teaching the word of God to women. 

We are a reformed and biblical ministry that strengthens women to live out the truths of Scripture in their lives.This year’s theme is “Reverence in Radical Times”. 

Will you be attending? Leave us a comment and make sure you tell  your friends to follow us here.

💗y’all Open Hearts Gals!
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. #openheartsinaclosedworldconference 
#openheartsinaclosedworld #womenintheword #deeplyrooted #reformedtheology #goodnewsfeed #truthinlove #solideogloria #wordbeforetheworld #graceupongrace #womenofgod #christfollowers #christianwomensconference #freeconference #ohcw2021 
#reverenceinradicaltimes
Next episode up in the Sermon on the Mount Series: Next episode up in the Sermon on the Mount Series:⁣
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Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.⁣
~ Matthew 5:9⁣
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To be a peacemaker we need to be at peace with God. It starts here. We must no longer be God's enemy. God is the supreme peacemaker and now as his children, we should resemble our Father and be peacemakers.⁣
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Come listen in to the episode at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)⁣
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#sermononthemount #martynlloydjones #matthew5:9 #peacemakers  #Mathew 5-7
Maturity and wisdom are not guaranteed as you get Maturity and wisdom are not guaranteed as you get older. They are contingent on a humble and teachable heart. ⁣
~ @costiwhinn
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