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10 Thoughts on Preparing Our Children for Marriage

by Marci Ferrell
Adult Children Motherhood

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My husband and I find ourselves in this next season of our lives with grown children. We are in a stage where our children are having children and we still have a son at home that we are continuing to prepare for the next role he will take on as a husband and father one day.  

We don’t have all the answers and are continuing to learn but one thing we have learned that stands out above all others has to do with the attitude of their hearts. 

When my daughter left home there were many areas I failed to train her in the way of home keeping.  At first I had concern, but as I watched her blossom into maturity in the way she loved her Lord Jesus and her husband and children, the home keeping part was secondary. 

I am not saying that we shouldn’t train our daughters to be keepers of their homes, but what I am saying is that we can’t prepare our children for every single task or difficulty that will come before them in their adult life. We need to focus on what is most important.  

 
If we had to choose two things that are of the utmost importance in raising our sons and daughters for marriage and being future parents it would be their spiritual growth and their heart attitude. 

These are some things from our own marriage the Lord has taught us along the way that are important in the teaching and training of our children to be husbands and wives and parents who glorify the Lord in all things:

1.  Spend time in prayer and in the Word of God.
2.  Have the heart of a servant.
3.  See what needs to be done and do it without being asked.
4.  Continue to kill the sin of selfishness.
5.  Put the needs of others above your own.
6.  Love unconditionally.
7.  Forgive, forgive, forgive.
8.  Do not put unrealistic expectations on others.
9.  Manage your time wisely.
10. Love is an action, something you choose to do.  

Mom and Dad, your example in the above areas is so important too.  Our children are watching what we do more than what we say. All the items above are important even if your child is called to singleness.  They are attributes of godly Christian living that are beneficial to all areas of life.  It isn’t so much that we are training them for marriage but we are training them to be Christians who have an impact in the sphere of influence the Lord has placed them in.  

None of the above items are possible without the Spirit of God.  We are helpless in and of ourselves. Be mindful that you can’t change the heart of your child, only the Lord can.  As parents we need to continue to love them, model Christlikeness in your home and pray that the Lord would grab a hold of their hearts.  

Relying on God’s strength and power is only possible by being born again.  “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6


Related Posts:
Considering Your Future Spouse
Loving Our Children Part One
Loving Our Children Part Two
Biblically Communicating with Our Children
Building Better Communication with Your Teen

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Related posts:

  1. Loving Our Children – Part One
  2. Thoughts on Children and Manners
  3. Don’t Exasperate Your Children!
  4. EP 40: Sexual Intimacy in Marriage {Marriage Series}


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Comments

  1. Erin Kelly says

    at

    I love this! I have a three year old and a one year old (both girls) and I am already praying for their spouses, if they ever choose to get married. I know when I got married I remember feeling like I was being slapped in the face because I realized how selfish I was! Marriage is meant to glorify God, and I think it also is to help us see our weaknesses so we can grow more with Him and our spouse. Great post!

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Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
⁣
Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
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We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
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Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
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Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
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Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
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It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
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Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
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1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
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Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
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We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
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So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
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I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
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Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
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Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
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Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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