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Thoughts on Children and Manners

by Marci Ferrell
Christian Living Communicating with Our Children Grandchildren Motherhood

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"Manners are about respect and thus are rooted in the Christian ethic modeled by Christ- my life for your life.  Self-sacrifice, therefore, is at the heart of manners… Manners do not make the man or woman.  #childrenandmanners #manners @mferrell
 
 
"Manners are about respect and thus are rooted in the Christian ethic modeled by Christ- my life for your life.  Self-sacrifice, therefore, is at the heart of manners… Manners do not make the man or woman.  #childrenandmanners #manners @mferrell

 

A favorite book we have turned to over the years is Disciplines of a Godly Family by Kent and Barbara Hughes.  My husband and I have benefited greatly from their books, Disciplines of a Godly Woman and Disciplines of a Godly Man too.

 
I’m sharing several quotes in the area of children and manners that may be a help to you and your family along with some articles and another resource at the end of the post.   These apply to us as well as our children and will have more impact if they are modeled by us to our children.
 
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“Manners are about respect and thus are rooted in the Christian ethic modeled by Christ- my life for your life.  Self-sacrifice, therefore, is at the heart of manners… Manners do not make the man or woman.  The radical reorientation that says “my life for your life” can only come from the regenerating work of Christ, who instills His life and ethic in us.  Nevertheless, manners teach the need for and complement of the character that Christ’s life gives.  Lives that say “my life for yours” are channels of God’s grace to a needy world.” ~ Disciplines of a Godly Family

“Here’s our own list that emerged in our childrearing years:  
1.  Don’t be a tattletale.  
2.  If you receive a gift you don’t like, do your best not to show disappointment.  And say something nice like “Thank you for remembering my birthday.”  
3.  Don’t gossip.  If you do, you won’t be a trustworthy friend, and you will displease God (Prov. 11:11-12; 18:13).  
4.  Don’t whisper secrets in front of other people.  The person left out will get hurt feelings.  
5.  Cheerfully greet the members of your family in the morning.  
6.  Always answer when you’re spoken to- and do so respectfully.  
7.  When you haven’t heard someone clearly, don’t grimace in irritation, but kindly say, “Excuse me?”  
8.  Always address adults as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss, never by their first names.  If they are particularly close family friends, your parents may want you to call them “Aunt” or “Uncle.”  This shows respect.  In the Southern states, children use the friendly but respectful “Miss Suzy” or “Miss Martha” when speaking to adult acquaintances.  The important thing here is developing a respect for authority, a quality sadly lacking in our country today.” ~ Disciplines of a Godly Family

 

“Children are rude because they are so naturally egocentric.  It’s their needs, their comforts, their feelings that they demand be met- usually at the expense of weary parents.  Of course, self-centeredness is natural, expected behavior in infancy and tolerable in toddlers, but it becomes downright unbearable in school-age children.  Proper manners can be a most effective tool in teaching children that they are not the center of the universe.  And as the realization grows, they will be well on their way to becoming civilized rather than savage.” ~ Disciplines of a Godly Family


Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Phil 2:3-4
 
 
 

Some Helpful Article Links:
Why Require Unregenerate Children to Act Like They’re Good
Parents Require Obedience of Your Children
Five Ways to Encourage Self-Control in Boys
7 Simple Steps to Making the Most of Family Dinners 
Do Right
A Biblical Approach to Manners

 

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Related posts:

  1. 10 Thoughts on Preparing Our Children for Marriage
  2. Praying God’s Word Over Our Children
  3. EP 20: The Blessings of Loving Our Children
  4. Motherhood: Delighting in Our Children {Free eBook}


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Comments

  1. shelly sangrey says

    at

    I love the rules list!I’m definitely going to put that to use!

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Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
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Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
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We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
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Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
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Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
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Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
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It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
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Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
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1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
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Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
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We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
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So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
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I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
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Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
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Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
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Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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