• Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

Thankful Homemaker

Gospel-Driven Encouragement for Homemakers

  • Home
    • The Gospel
    • Statement of Faith
    • My Church Home
    • Church Finder
  • Welcome
    • About Me
    • Start Here
    • Advertise & Sponsorship Info
    • The BAR Podcast Network
    • Privacy Policy
  • Blog
    • Homemaking
    • Menu Planning
      • Menu Planning Made Easy Course
    • Marriage
      • Marriage Series
    • Motherhood
    • Christian Living
      • Spiritual Disciplines Series
      • Sermon on the Mount
    • Bible Study
    • Time Management
    • Holidays
      • Christmas
      • Easter
      • Thanksgiving
      • Valentine’s Day
      • Summer Fun
      • Gift Guides
  • Podcast
  • Resources
    • Book Recommendations
    • Homemaking Courses
    • TH Gear – Mugs, T-shirts, Tote Bags & Sweatshirts
    • Journals & Notebooks
    • My Favorite Blogging & Podcast Tools
    • Free Library
  • Shop
    • TH Gear – Mugs, T-Shirts, Tote Bags & Sweatshirts
    • Books, Home Items & Other Favorites 🥰
  • Free Library
    • Sign-Up for Access
    • Enter Free Library (Password Required)
  • Connect
    • Advertise and Sponsorship Info
    • Patreon Support
    • Buy Marci a Cup of Coffee 🥰
  •  

Relating to Our Adult Married Children

by Marci Ferrell
Adult Children Marriage Mentoring Motherhood Titus 2

2 shares
  • Facebook
  • Twitter

I’d love to help you simplify your meal planning. Check out my new menu planning course here.

If you're encouraged by the podcast & blog consider becoming a friend of Thankful Homemaker at Patreon

 
 
We are finding ourselves in the next season of life where we have adult children. The best advice I can give you as you relate to your adult children is to remember that they are still young.
 
Our adult children need much grace and time to grow as they learn to maneuver through the next season of life the Lord has them in.  They are still growing and maturing.  There will be many mistakes, and as a parent, we need to be patient as the Lord continues to mold them.
 
This post is a work in progress being lived out in my life on a daily basis.  My husband and I are still learning how to properly interact with our married daughter and her husband.  Our roles have shifted from being the main authority and source of advice for our daughter, to now taking a step back because that is her husband’s role. Let me share with you some lessons we have learned along the way.
 

Leave and Cleave

 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24

Amber is my only daughter, and we had, and still have, a very close relationship.  Her husband is Norwegian and lived in Norway at the time they were married.  The day after the wedding he whisked her away to Norway, and the next time we saw her was on Skype.  It was a hard trial, and I spent many days in tears just missing her and her presence in our home.  After two and a half years in Norway their family is here in the states now, twenty minutes away from us, and I am crying as I am writing this remembering how painful that time was.
 
Many times issues in marriage arise because the newly married couple does not leave and cleave.  Amber and Ruben only had each other in Norway.  His family was a 14 hour drive away, and we were not exactly around the corner.  They quickly learned what it meant to leave and cleave and become one flesh.
 
I am not saying that every married couple needs to leave the town they are in and live a distance away from their family, but learning to give them space to become dependent on one another is very important.
 
Even with the distance, we have to be cautious of emotional attachments.  I found us having to work through the closeness we had as a family emotionally so Amber could properly relate to her husband. Take the time to give them the freedom they need as a newly married couple.  Let them be the main initiators in calling and coming to visit during that first year of marriage.  They need time to become their own family unit.
 
The Lord is faithful and He knew what was best for Amber and Ruben.  I can look back and give thanks for the distance and separation knowing that God did work all things together for good.
 
 
 

 

Learning to Communicate

This is a new season for the whole family, and you now have an additional member that you are just getting to know well…so proper communication is important.  We are going to mess up.  Very simply put, this transitional period can be awkward at times.  You are going to say things you shouldn’t say and do things you shouldn’t do.  Issues will arise and the only way to work through them is to talk about them.
 
They are adults and need to be treated as adults.  We have been their source of guidance and advice for their whole lives, and now we need to avoid giving advice until we are asked.  Our hope is that if they have been raised up in the Word, they will remember what the book of Proverbs teaches: seeking wisdom from others is a characteristic of a wise person.  They must have a teachable spirit and realize they may not always agree with what guidance we have to give, but they need to seek wisdom from those who are a little further down the road.
 
They will have to make their own choices as adults, and there may be consequences for those choices, but we need to let them learn from them.  Remembering that they now have a spouse to seek for guidance first is important.  If your child is coming to you for advice, direct them to their spouse to get their input.
 

Loving their Spouse

Now we take on that dreaded role of “in-law.”  I love being a mother-in-law and have enjoyed getting to know my son-in-law and building a relationship with him.  My husband has really taken the time to learn all about Ruben.  I am thankful they have such a good relationship.  They encourage each other spiritually and in their roles as husbands and fathers.
 
Seek out your child’s guidance on how to properly love their spouse.  They know their spouses better than we do, and they desire us to love their spouses well.
 
Pray that your children would offer you much grace, since you have never been an in-law, and it is new water you are treading in. Our children are always seeking us for answers, and they may forget that we don’t have all the answers.  Remind them that this “in-law” thing is new to you, and you are still learning.
 

The Goal

 

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Psalm 127:4

 
Our children our going to grow up and leave the nest, and this is our goal.  To send those arrows into battle.  They are going to do the Lord’s work for His Kingdom, and we desire them to accomplish His purposes.  That is our goal as parents.
 
It is not always easy, but it is necessary and good.  We are leaving a legacy for the next generation.
 

The goal of parenting is to work yourself out of a job.  The goal of parenting is to send young adults out into the world who are prepared to live as God’s children and as salt and light in a corrupt and broken world.
Paul David Tripp

 
 

Our Hope

We don’t know the future.  I don’t know what the Lord has in store for my children and grandchildren.  There may be trying times and difficult seasons ahead.
 
I do know that I can look to the future without fear, knowing that the One who does hold the future in His hands is with me always.  The grace and knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ gives me confidence to be at peace in this new season of life and enjoy the blessings.
 
The best thing we can do for our adult children is to pray for them.  Pray that they seek first His Kingdom, pray that they love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, and pray that they will always remain teachable and seek guidance and help when they need it from their earthly parents too.
 

In the midst of an ever-changing world, the good news is that the life of faith is anchored by the power, provisions, and promises of God. Circumstances may change, but the future is as sure as the character of God Himself. No matter what happens, those who trust in God hope in His word.
Scott Hafemann

 
 
Become a patron at Patreon!

Related posts:

  1. Determining the Best Choices for Your Family
  2. Delighting in Your Children
  3. Motherhood: Delighting in Our Children {Free eBook}
  4. Praying God’s Word Over Our Children


Free Resource Library

Get more posts like this in your inbox!

And while you’re at it, you’ll receive access to our FREE library of resources to help you in your homemaking!.

(I will not spam you. Read my privacy policy.)

« Looking to Jesus
Memorizing Colossians – October Encouragement »

Comments

  1. Marci says

    at

    Pamela and Gail thank you both for your encouragement to me – it is such a learning process and I am so grateful for God’s grace – always!! Much love, Marci

  2. Gail @ http://biblelovenotes.com says

    at

    Good advice, Marci. I’ve made a lot of mistakes with my adult children. Glad you are sharing these wise words.

  3. Pamela says

    at

    I left a message at Visionary Womanhood, but wanted you to know this is the best article I have read on this subject. Packed so full of wisdom and love.

WEEKLY HOME CLEANING SCHEDULE SIDEBAR AD

Welcome to Thankful Homemaker

So thankful you’ve stopped by for a visit. Please grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit a bit. I hope to remind you that contentment in our role as homemakers begins with finding our satisfaction in Christ.

read more…

Ultimate Homemaking Binder Side Bar Ad

Categories

  • Bible Study
  • Christian Living
  • Holidays
  • Homemaking
  • Marriage
  • Menu Planning
  • Motherhood
  • Podcast
  • Time Management

thankfulhomemaker

Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
⁣
Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
⁣
Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
⁣
We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
⁣
Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
⁣
Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
⁣
Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
⁣
Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
⁣
It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
⁣
Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
⁣
1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
⁣
Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
⁣
We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
⁣
So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
⁣
I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
⁣
Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
⁣
Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
⁣
Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Access the FREE Library!

Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Thankful Homemaker · All Rights Reserved · Privacy Policy & Disclosure

Copyright © 2023 · Divine Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email