EP 40: Sexual Intimacy in Marriage {Marriage Series}

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. We can learn not just to enjoy it but to delight in intimacy with our husbands.

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. We can learn not just to enjoy it but delight in intimacy with our husbands

Martha Peace shares:

The physical union of husband and wife is designed by God to meet God-given desire for companionship, to protect the husband and wife from temptation, and for the mutual giving and receiving of great pleasure and joy between the husband and wife. Companionship is strengthened by the private, intimate, physical bond of a married couple.

Even as Christians, we can too easily let the world or other voices in the church give us our view of sex when it has to come from God’s Word. God’s Word is sufficient in all ways and especially and even in our sexual relationships with our husbands.

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Show Notes:

“As a matter of fact, the sex relationship in marriage receives such emphasis in the Scriptures that we begin to see it was meant not only to be a wonderful, continuing experience for the husband and wife, but it was also intended to show us something even more wonderful about God and His relationship with us. Ephesians 5:31-32 spells it out: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Thus properly and lovingly executed and a mutually satisfying sexual union is God’s way of demonstrating to us a great spiritual truth. It speaks to us of the greatest love story ever told —of how Jesus Christ gave Himself for us and is intimately involved with and loves the church (those who believe in Him). In this framework, the sexual relationship between two growing Christians can be intimate fellowship as well as delight.” ~ Ed Wheat, Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage

Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, in their book Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christan Women Ask About Sex share in the opening chapter their book discuss six ways how we are to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to God’s voice on why He created sex:

We know God created the gift of sex for procreation.
Sex is for the gift of intimate oneness
The Gift of Sex is for Intimate Knowledge
God gives us the gift of sex for pleasure
Sex is a Gift from God against temptation
Sex is God’s Gift to Provide Comfort to One Another

“For in touching a person of the opposite sex in the most secret place of his or her body, with one’s own most private part, there is something that reaches beyond touch, that gets behind the flesh itself to the place where it connects with spirit, to the place where incarnation happens.” ~ Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage

“The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses.” ~ John Piper

'The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses.' ~ John Piper

“The Song of Solomon expands on the ancient marriage instructions of Genesis 2:24, thus providing spiritual music for a lifetime of marital harmony. It is given by God to demonstrate His intention for romance and loveliness of marriage, the most precious of human relations and the grace of life.”~John MacArthur

“A young woman came to us and asked, “I’ve had sex with four different men. Now that I’ve gone through the cleansing steps and God has forgiven me for my past, is it possible for me to become a virgin again?” The word “virgin” means “pure.” Even after a woman has yielded her virginity, she can become pure in her sexual thoughts and attitude, in her dress and demeanor, and how she relates to men. The blood of Christ can wash us clean and make our sins white as snow. Such a woman can become a virgin in every way but technically.” ~ Linda Dillow, Intimate Issues

“When a man is in love and turned on by his wife, he is also totally entranced by the feminine beauty of her body, regardless of where the media would rank it on a scale of one to ten. When he is in love with his wife, he experiences the perfection of her body for him.” ~John Gray

“to be sexy is to be aware of your body as an instrument of playfulness and delight, to be able to communicate this awareness to your husband and give him the gift of your body for pleasure, delight, variety, and playfulness.” ~Andrew Greely

“When you begin to see the balance between accepting the way God made you and being responsible for your body, you can become free to be the sensuous and exciting lover God desires you to be, free to concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure rather than on what you look like.” ~Linda Dillow

“The greatest sexual fulfillment comes gradually over the long haul in a marriage, as a couple learns to talk about anything, any time; when there’s heart-to-heart communication, not just talking at each other, but listening actively and sensitively, caring deeply about the communication.” ~Doug Goins

Your attitude toward your husband’s sexuality and sex drive is important because you alone have the power to bless him sexually and affirm his male identity. Your responsiveness is a major component of how he feels about himself. Your husband needs to feel that when he initiates intimacy with you, you “welcome” him and want to “receive” him. By doing so, you affirm him—indeed, you affirm his leadership and initiative, the very essence of manhood. ~ Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

“By God’s faithful provision through marriage—your protection sleeps right next to you every night.” ~Dave Harvey

'By God’s faithful provision through marriage—your protection sleeps right next to you every night.' ~Dave Harvey

“It is as important to be filled with the Spirit in bed with your husband, ministering to him, as it is for you to be filled with Spirit when you are teaching the Bible or ministering.” ~Vonette Bright

Reflecting on Solomon’s Bride the Shulammite Woman:

She is responsive sexually to her husband, she is adventurous in her lovemaking – she receives sexual pleasure from her husband, and she is the initiator. She has them making love outdoors! She is uninhibited with her lover and guides him as to where to touch her. She is verbally expressive with him. And she is sensuous – she is a woman who is tuned into her body, and when Solomon isn’t there, she is thinking about him in a sensuous way – her thoughts are on his physical appearance, and she is delighting in it as she in her mind undresses her husband from his head on down.

“Our sexual life is what our thoughts make it. Your mind is your greatest sexual organ. Use it to become the godly and sensuous lover God desires you to be.” ~ Intimate Issues

“You are the only legal God-blessed source of sexual fulfillment that your husband will ever have if he follows the Lord carefully. Give him the joy and pleasure that he can only experience with you.” ~ Jani Ortlund

'You are the only legal God-blessed source of sexual fulfillment that your husband will ever have if he follows the Lord carefully. Give him the joy and pleasure that he can only experience with you.' ~ Jani Ortlund