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EP 36: Showing Respect to Our Husbands {Marriage Series}

by Marci Ferrell
Marriage Marriage Series Podcast Respect Submission

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Christ is our ultimate example of a loving, respectful servant.  #respect #respectourhusbands #christianmarriage #marriage @thankfulhomemaker

 

Christ is our ultimate example of a loving, respectful servant. @mferrell

We’re continuing in our series on marriage at the podcast, and episode 36 is on respect.  So far we’ve covered God’s Design for Marriage and Our Role as Women, Loving Our Husbands, and today we’re talking about what does it look like to show respect to our husbands.

What is respect? How is it defined? The dictionary defines it – A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

We are called by God to respect our husband’s position of headship in the home, and as we do this, we are honoring God first and foremost. God has called them to this position, and He has called us to respect their position. 

God has called our husbands, just like us, to be like Christ. One way we do this is by submitting our will and humbling ourselves before the Lord and taking the place of a servant in our homes. Christ is our ultimate example of a loving, respectful servant. 

Christ is our ultimate example of a loving, respectful servant. Click to Tweet

This is only going to come about when we get a right view of who God.  God is worthy of my trust and loyalty and respect and submission (please take a listen to Podcast Ep 31 on The Supremacy of God). This is part of His plan. The apostle Paul started out the verses here in Ephesians 5:22-33 with love and submission and he ends them here in Ephesians 5:33 with love and respect. 

Show Notes:

“Surprisingly enough, I did not personally have that much of a problem with the concept of submitting to my husband. But respect was much harder. I could submit and still harbor anger and bitterness. I could still put out the vibe that says, “I am disappointed in your decision-making skills.” In fact, submission without respect let me live in a delusion of self-righteousness. I am submitting, but I do not think you know what you are doing, and I’m going to continue to let you know that I do not trust you with my attitude, even though, technically, I am submitting on this issue. Submission does not equal respect. And submission without respect brings NO honor to God. Why would God command the combination of the two?”  ~ Wendy Alsup, By His Wounds You Are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman’s Identity

“The wife for her part is to give her husband the respect that is due him in the Lord (Eph 5:22). As Eph 5:21 has made plain, such respect is conditioned by and expressive of reverence (phobos) for Christ. It also assumes that the husband will so love his wife as to be worthy of such deference. Those who are puzzled because Paul does not tell wives that they are to love their husbands fail to appreciate the almost rabbinical precision with which the analogy is handled. Christ loves the church; the church’s love for Christ is expressed in submission and obedience.”  ~ John Eadie

“I cannot think of anything more important than influencing him for Jesus Christ. However, remember that it must be done God’s way, not yours. Don’t preach to him, instead pray for him, enjoy him, love him and show him respect. Take care in how you talk to him and about him. God is at work in the world to save sinners. It’s critical that you follow God’s commands and wait on His perfect timing.” ~ Martha Peace

“Even if our spouse abdicates his responsibilities, when we honor him as God intended him to be, not as he is now, we are being salt and light in our homes, powerfully influencing our husbands, not by nagging and manipulating, but by humble submission.” ~ Wendy Alsup

“If I truly understand the Gospel in the moment of my wife’s sin, my response should be a Gospel-motivated sacrifice rather than a self-centered punishment.” ~ Rick Thomas, Who Pays for Your Spouse’s Sin: Christ or Your Spouse

“Wives are not the only ones instructed to respect their husbands. Children are told to honor their fathers (Ephesians 6:2-3). If you are disrespectful to your husband, your children will likely acquire the same attitude. It will be much more difficult for them to honor their father if you are belittling him and speaking to him in a harsh, sarcastic tone of voice.”  ~ Martha Peace

“The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self.” He goes on to say that self is at the root of all problems in this world, not only individually, but on a national and international level: “–all these troubles ultimately come back to self, to ‘my rights’, to ‘what I want’, and to ‘who is he’? or ‘who is she’? Self, with its horrid manifestations, always leads to trouble, because if two ‘selfs’ come into opposition, there is bound to be a clash… Therefore,” he states, “any tendency to assert self at once conflicts with the fundamental conception of marriage” ~Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit

“God’s will for every Christian wife is that her most important ministry be to her husband (Genesis 2:18). After a wife’s own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, nothing else should have greater priority. Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife’s time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day. Whether her husband is a faithful Christian man or an unbeliever, God wants every Christian woman to be a godly wife- an excellent wife.”                ~ Martha Peace

You can find all the podcasts in the Marriage Series Here

Scripture & Resources:

Ephesians 5:22-33

Ephesians 5:33

Ephesians 5:33 (Amplified Version)

Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33

Ephesians 5:21

1 Corinthians 11:3

1 Corinthians 4:7

1 Peter 3:1-6

1 Peter 3:1-2

1 Peter 3:1-2 (Amplified Version)

1 Corinthians 13:5

Ephesians 4:29

Proverbs 15:28

Proverbs 21:9

Philippians 2:3-4

Resources:

How Respectful Are You to Your Husband: A Self-Assessment

By His Wounds You Are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman’s Identity by Wendy Alsup

The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn

Cast off Corrupting Language – sermon from Pastor Ross Layne, Grace Community Church

Addressing Our Husband’s Sin – @Thankful Homemaker

What is Spiritual Maturity – @Thankful Homemaker

Who pays for your spouse’s sin: Christ or your spouse – @Rick Thomas

A Prayer for Our Husbands Praying – @Thankful Homemaker

Life in the Spirit by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

2018 Homemaking Ministries Online Conference

Listen & Download the Podcast:

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Find All Podcast Episodes Here with Show Notes

 

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Related posts:

  1. EP 35: To Love Their Husbands -Marriage Series #2
  2. EP 38: What Does Submission in Marriage Look Like? {Marriage Series}
  3. How Well Do You Respect Your Husband? A Self-Assessment
  4. EP 37: What is Biblical Submission? {Marriage Series with Guest Doug Ferrell}


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Comments

  1. Gabrielle says

    at

    Thank-you so much for this podcast! It is so refreshing and such a blessing! This is the first one I listened to in this series, so I will go back and listen to the first two, and I look forward to next ones as well.
    Last night I was thinking about this topic and I really needed to have a “chat” with an older woman (older and more experienced than myself, I mean) on this. Everything you said spoke to me, the quotes, and all. Thank you again!

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  1. On My Radar No 1 – Joyfully Juny says:
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    […] Thankful Homemaker: Podcast Ep 36: Marriage Series #3 – Showing Respect to Our Husbands |I recently discovered Thankful Homemaker and had a chance to listen to a little bit of this podcast episode last night. I’m going to listen to it throughout the week – a very encouraging episode, and respect + submission towards my husband are two crucial things (among so many) that I’ve been working on since the beginning of our marriage. […]

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Patience is our ability, under the control of the Patience is our ability, under the control of the Spirit, to persevere and endure in times of suffering or hardship.⁣⁣
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Come listen in (or read) EP 118: Cultivating Patience with One Another at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
By affliction, Christ . . .⁣⁣ shows us our em By affliction, Christ . . .⁣⁣
 shows us our emptiness and weakness,⁣⁣
 draws us to the throne of grace,⁣⁣
 purifies our affections,⁣⁣
 weans us from the world,⁣⁣
 and makes us long for Heaven.⁣⁣
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I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wi I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wives, and mothers.  How many times do we focus on our needs that aren’t met?  Unfair situations or circumstances?  Self-pity is a selfish tendency that takes our eyes off Christ and puts them on ourselves. ⁣⁣
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We forget that “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Are we able to give God “thanks in all things”?⁣⁣
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Come listen in to EP 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self Pity at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)⁣
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"God's written Word, the Bible, is God's greatest "God's written Word, the Bible, is God's greatest earthly gift to his people, second only to the living Word, Jesus. And because the living Word perfectly lived out the written Word, we are blessed beyond measure. Jesus fulfilled every precept found in Psalm 119, keeping the principles and commandments of this psalm, and he did so on our behalf.⁣
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With my whole heart I seek you;⁣
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