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EP 40: Sexual Intimacy in Marriage {Marriage Series}

by Marci Ferrell
Communication in Marriage Loving Our Husbands Marriage Marriage Series Podcast Sexual Intimacy

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Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. We can learn not just to enjoy it but to delight in intimacy with our husbands. #christianmarriage #sexualintimacy #sexualintimacyinmarriage @thankfulhomemaker

 

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. @mferrell

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. We can learn not just to enjoy it but to delight in intimacy with our husbands.

Sex is a beautiful gift from God. As Christian’s we have God’s permission to enjoy sex within our marriages – God invented it. We can learn not just to enjoy it but delight in intimacy with our husbands Click to Tweet

Martha Peace shares:

The physical union of husband and wife is designed by God to meet God-given desire for companionship, to protect the husband and wife from temptation, and for the mutual giving and receiving of great pleasure and joy between the husband and wife. Companionship is strengthened by the private, intimate, physical bond of a married couple. 

Even as Christians, we can too easily let the world or other voices in the church give us our view of sex when it has to come from God’s Word. God’s Word is sufficient in all ways and especially and even in our sexual relationships with our husbands.

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Find All Podcast Episodes with Show Notes

All Podcasts and Posts in the Marriage Series

 

Show Notes:

“As a matter of fact, the sex relationship in marriage receives such emphasis in the Scriptures that we begin to see it was meant not only to be a wonderful, continuing experience for the husband and wife, but it was also intended to show us something even more wonderful about God and His relationship with us. Ephesians 5:31-32 spells it out: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Thus properly and lovingly executed and a mutually satisfying sexual union is God’s way of demonstrating to us a great spiritual truth. It speaks to us of the greatest love story ever told —of how Jesus Christ gave Himself for us and is intimately involved with and loves the church (those who believe in Him). In this framework, the sexual relationship between two growing Christians can be intimate fellowship as well as delight.” ~ Ed Wheat, Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage

Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, in their book Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christan Women Ask About Sex share in the opening chapter their book discuss six ways how we are to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to God’s voice on why He created sex:

  1. We know God created the gift of sex for procreation.
  2. Sex is for the gift of intimate oneness
  3. The Gift of Sex is for Intimate Knowledge
  4. God gives us the gift of sex for pleasure
  5. Sex is a Gift from God against temptation
  6. Sex is God’s Gift to Provide Comfort to One Another

“For in touching a person of the opposite sex in the most secret place of his or her body, with one’s own most private part, there is something that reaches beyond touch, that gets behind the flesh itself to the place where it connects with spirit, to the place where incarnation happens.”  ~ Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage

“The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses.”  ~ John Piper

'The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses.' ~ John Piper Click to Tweet

“The Song of Solomon expands on the ancient marriage instructions of Genesis 2:24, thus providing spiritual music for a lifetime of marital harmony. It is given by God to demonstrate His intention for romance and loveliness of marriage, the most precious of human relations and the grace of life.”~John MacArthur

“A young woman came to us and asked, “I’ve had sex with four different men. Now that I’ve gone through the cleansing steps and God has forgiven me for my past, is it possible for me to become a virgin again?” The word “virgin” means “pure.” Even after a woman has yielded her virginity, she can become pure in her sexual thoughts and attitude, in her dress and demeanor, and how she relates to men. The blood of Christ can wash us clean and make our sins white as snow. Such a woman can become a virgin in every way but technically.” ~ Linda Dillow, Intimate Issues

“When a man is in love and turned on by his wife, he is also totally entranced by the feminine beauty of her body, regardless of where the media would rank it on a scale of one to ten. When he is in love with his wife, he experiences the perfection of her body for him.” ~John Gray

“to be sexy is to be aware of your body as an instrument of playfulness and delight, to be able to communicate this awareness to your husband and give him the gift of your body for pleasure, delight, variety, and playfulness.” ~Andrew Greely

“When you begin to see the balance between accepting the way God made you and being responsible for your body, you can become free to be the sensuous and exciting lover God desires you to be, free to concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure rather than on what you look like.”  ~Linda Dillow

“The greatest sexual fulfillment comes gradually over the long haul in a marriage, as a couple learns to talk about anything, any time; when there’s heart-to-heart communication, not just talking at each other, but listening actively and sensitively, caring deeply about the communication.” ~Doug Goins

Your attitude toward your husband’s sexuality and sex drive is important because you alone have the power to bless him sexually and affirm his male identity. Your responsiveness is a major component of how he feels about himself. Your husband needs to feel that when he initiates intimacy with you, you “welcome” him and want to “receive” him. By doing so, you affirm him—indeed, you affirm his leadership and initiative, the very essence of manhood.  ~ Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

“By God’s faithful provision through marriage—your protection sleeps right next to you every night.” ~Dave Harvey

'By God’s faithful provision through marriage—your protection sleeps right next to you every night.' ~Dave Harvey Click to Tweet

“It is as important to be filled with the Spirit in bed with your husband, ministering to him, as it is for you to be filled with Spirit when you are teaching the Bible or ministering.” ~Vonette Bright

Reflecting on Solomon’s Bride the Shulammite Woman:

She is responsive sexually to her husband, she is adventurous in her lovemaking – she receives sexual pleasure from her husband, and she is the initiator. She has them making love outdoors! She is uninhibited with her lover and guides him as to where to touch her. She is verbally expressive with him. And she is sensuous – she is a woman who is tuned into her body, and when Solomon isn’t there, she is thinking about him in a sensuous way – her thoughts are on his physical appearance, and she is delighting in it as she in her mind undresses her husband from his head on down.

“Our sexual life is what our thoughts make it. Your mind is your greatest sexual organ. Use it to become the godly and sensuous lover God desires you to be.” ~ Intimate Issues

“You are the only legal God-blessed source of sexual fulfillment that your husband will ever have if he follows the Lord carefully. Give him the joy and pleasure that he can only experience with you.” ~ Jani Ortlund

'You are the only legal God-blessed source of sexual fulfillment that your husband will ever have if he follows the Lord carefully. Give him the joy and pleasure that he can only experience with you.' ~ Jani Ortlund Click to Tweet

Scriptures & Resources:

Proverbs 5:18-19

Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:25

Genesis 3:16

Ephesians 5:31-32

Genesis 1:28

Genesis 4:1

Proverbs 15:5

1 Corinthians 7:2,5

2 Samuel 2:24

1 Corinthians 7:7-8

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Matthew 16:25

Song of Solomon 4:1, 3, 5, 10-12

Psalm 26:1-3

Romans 12:19

Proverbs 11:21

2 Corinthians 5:17

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Philippians 4:8

Romans 11:36

Song of Solomon 5:1

Proverbs 5:19

Titus 2:4

Resources:

Thankful Homemaker on Instagram

Homemaking Ministries 2018 Online Conference – The Deep Dive Summit

Marriage Series at the Blog

My Favorite Resources on Sex and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage at Thankful Homemaker

The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace

Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage by Ed Wheat

Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus

When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey

Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Doug Rosenau

Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne Mack

The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage by R. C. Sproul

My Abortion story & Why I Counsel at Abortuaries at Thankful Homemaker

The Devilish Puppet Master of the Word-Faith Movement sermon at Grace to You on False Prophets

Weekend to Remember from Family Life Today

Podcast Ep. 35: Marriage Series #2 – To Love Their Husbands at Thankful Homemaker

Podcast Ep. 17: What it Looks Like to Cherish Our Husbands at Thankful Homemaker

 

Become a patron at Patreon!

Related posts:

  1. My Favorite Resources on Sex and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
  2. EP 34: God’s Design for Our Marriages & Our Role as Women – Marriage Series #1
  3. EP 38: What Does Submission in Marriage Look Like? {Marriage Series}
  4. EP 37: What is Biblical Submission? {Marriage Series with Guest Doug Ferrell}


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Marci Ferrell
It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is anot It is better to get wisdom than gold. Gold is another’s, wisdom is our own; gold is for the body and time, wisdom for the soul and eternity.⁣
~ Matthew Henry⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Whether you're running errands, doing household ch Whether you're running errands, doing household chores, or sipping your coffee, you can do it in style, reminding yourself and others you are a Thankful Homemaker 🥰⁣
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Shop TH Gear at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
What do you think of when you hear the word discer What do you think of when you hear the word discernment? The dictionary defines it as making a distinction between good and evil and truth and falsehood. As believers, we all desire to be discerning and wise in our choices. As we mature and grow in our knowledge of the scriptures, the hope is we will use that information to make choices in line with God's will.⁣
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We become discerning people by not just knowing what to think but how to think. Being spiritually discerning is an ability to see the world the way God does. This comes about as we grow and mature spiritually into the likeness of Christ. It is about seeing “All That's Good.”⁣
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Read Seeking Whatever is Good at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
“Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench i “Waiting exposes our idols and throws a wrench into our coping mechanisms. It brings us to the end of what we can control and forces us to cry out to God. God doesn’t waste our waiting. He uses it to conform us to the image of his Son.”⁣
~ Betsy Childs Howard⁣
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Listen in to EP 23: Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding mysel As I’m sharing this episode, I’m finding myself in a waiting room on the Lord, and it’s been a long one, and I don’t see an end near.  It has reminded me that when I gave myself to Him, I gave up my “right” to be in charge. The reality is we never were in charge anyway; we just came to that understanding when the Lord opened our eyes to His sovereign control over our lives.⁣
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Even though it is a truth I know or we know, how many times do we want to think that somehow we can effect change in our life situations?⁣
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Waiting is hard because there is no guarantee that my waiting will end in this lifetime. One thing I have learned – my waiting has deepened my trust in the Lord and has helped me to develop patience, perseverance, and endurance.⁣
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It’s also given me different eyes to see with compassion others who are in a season of waiting.⁣
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Listen in to EP 23 Seasons of Waiting at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Six questions I have written in my Bible that have Six questions I have written in my Bible that have been a help to me over the years may be a help to you, too, to be prayerful and slow to speak. These are helpful questions not just in our friendships but in our marriages and with our children, and truly any of our relationships:⁣
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1. Is this the time to say this?⁣
2. Am I the person to say this?⁣
3. Is it necessary?⁣
4. Is it true?⁣
5. Is it kind?⁣
6. Do I need to say this?⁣
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Listen in to EP 140: Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We all know that fostering true biblical friendshi We all know that fostering true biblical friendship isn’t easy – it takes work. Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we’re going to have trouble in this world, and trouble does touch all our lives in various areas, but this includes our friendships too.⁣
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We’ll be hurt; we’ll be the ones hurting others; selfishness is a battle; jealousy and envy raise their ugly heads; we have our fears and insecurities, failed expectations, the damage our tongues do to one another, not appropriating the gospel and these all come from hearts that are still battling sin. ⁣
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So when these threats to our friendship with one another in Christ come up, it shouldn’t surprise us that we have these issues, but what we need to keep at the forefront of our minds is how we respond and deal with them when they do come up. ⁣
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I want to walk us through some of these threats, and this list I’m working with isn’t exhaustive – there are many more threats than what I am addressing today – but these are areas that stood out to me that have been a battle within some of my friendships over the years. Sadly, it is often the sin I’m battling in my heart, and I need to get my thinking, attitudes, and actions lined up with God’s Word.⁣
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Listen to EP 140 Threats to Biblical Friendship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
May we be women who are willing to return to the a May we be women who are willing to return to the authority of God’s Word, embrace God’s priorities for our lives and homes, and live out the beauty and wonder of womanhood as God created it to be.⁣
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Read more at The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction Women will never find fulfillment and satisfaction by trying to be "like" men and shedding their uniqueness as a female.  They will only find satisfaction in Christ.⁣
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Come read The History of Modern Feminism at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
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