Practical Ways to Cultivate Grace-Filled Speech

Inside: Discover how to cultivate grace-filled speech with biblical wisdom and practical tips. Learn how to use your words to honor God and uplift those around you in everyday conversations.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Grace-Filled Speech

In our recent podcast, Episode 164: Resisting Gossip: Using Words to Build Up, we delved into the challenging topic of gossip and the power of our words. We learned that our words can either build up or tear down, and as followers of Christ, we are called to use our speech to bring life and grace. Today, I want to share some practical ways to cultivate grace-filled speech, along with some resources that can help us on this journey.

Pause and Pray

One of the simplest yet most effective practices is to pause and pray before speaking, especially in difficult or challenging situations. Taking a moment to seek God’s guidance can prevent us from saying something we might regret. A quick prayer like, “Lord, help me to honor you in this situation,” can make all the difference.

Think Before You Speak

An easy way to filter our words is by using the THINK acronym:

• T: Is it True?
• H: Is it Helpful?
• I: Is it Inspiring?
• N: Is it Necessary?
• K: Is it Kind?

This simple tool can help us assess whether our words will build up or tear down. Before speaking, consider these questions and choose words that reflect Christ’s love and grace.

Related Resource: EP 67: Speech Seasoned with Grace & Kindness

Practice Self-Control

We recognize that self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, as described in Galatians 5:22-23. This quality is essential in managing our speech, enabling us to remain composed when anger and frustration arise. The apostle Paul encourages us to be concerned with our character, highlighting virtues such as self-control, which is produced by the Spirit’s work within us.

To effectively manage our speech, we must rely on the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. When we feel provoked, taking a deep breath and pausing and praying before responding allows us to seek the Spirit’s guidance. This practice helps prevent impulsive and potentially harmful words. It is through prayer and reliance on the Spirit that we can exercise self-control, ensuring our words honor God and edify others.

As we spend time in His Word and prayer and draw near to Him, he will enable us to manifest self-control in our speech. By living under the Spirit’s control, we can demonstrate restraint, patience, and grace in our conversations, reflecting Christ’s love and bringing glory to God.

Speak the Truth in Love

Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to “speak the truth in love.” Even when it’s necessary to address difficult issues, do so with compassion and a desire for the other person’s well-being. Avoid harsh or judgmental language, and aim to build up rather than tear down.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is so important for grace-filled communication. When someone is speaking, give them your full attention by maintaining eye contact and avoiding interruptions. Show you’re engaged by nodding and using facial expressions that show you care. After they’ve spoken, briefly summarize what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding and ask thoughtful, open-ended questions to encourage a deeper conversation. Put away distractions like your phone and be fully present, showing that you value what the speaker has to say. By practicing patience and empathy, you’ll create a respectful and meaningful dialogue.

Accountability Partner

Consider finding an accountability partner who can gently remind you to practice these principles. Sharing your commitment with a trusted friend can provide encouragement and accountability, helping you stay mindful of your speech.

The Importance of Daily Word and Prayer

To cultivate grace-filled speech, it’s essential to immerse ourselves in God’s Word and spend time in prayer every day. Doing this allows God’s truth to transform our hearts and minds, which in turn shapes our words. Regularly studying Scripture helps us understand God’s standards for our speech, providing the wisdom and guidance we need to communicate in ways that honor Him.

Prayer is just as important because it helps us rely on the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to exercise self-control and speak with love and grace. By consistently spending time in God’s Word and in prayer, we develop the character and discipline necessary to use our words to build up others and reflect Christ’s love in every conversation.

Reflect and Meditate and Memorize Scripture

Regularly reflect on Bible verses that guide our speech and let them shape our thoughts and words. Memorize and meditate on scriptures that will help you in this area, especially where you know you struggle. Let God’s Word transform how we communicate, ensuring our words are filled with grace, love, and truth.

• Proverbs 15:1 (ESV): “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
• Colossians 4:6 (ESV): “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
• James 1:19 (ESV): “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Let these scriptures be a guide and inspiration as we seek to cultivate speech that honors God.

Additional Scriptural Encouragement

Here are some more Bible verses to help us use our words wisely and encourage others:

• Proverbs 18:21 (ESV): “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
• Ephesians 4:29 (ESV): “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
• Proverbs 12:18 (ESV): “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
• Proverbs 16:24 (ESV): “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
• Proverbs 15:4 (ESV): “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV): “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
• Proverbs 25:11 (ESV): “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
• Psalm 19:14 (ESV): “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
• Philippians 4:8 (ESV): “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
• Matthew 12:36-37 (ESV): “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
• Proverbs 13:3 (ESV): “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”

May these verses guide and encourage you as you seek to fill your speech with grace and truth, reflecting God’s love in every word.

Recommended Resources for Further Study

If you’re looking to dive deeper into the topic of godly speech and avoid gossip, here are some resources I highly recommend:

• Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate by Jerry Bridges addresses common sins that Christians often overlook, including those related to speech, and offers practical advice for overcoming them. It’s one of my all-time favorites!
• Resisting Gossip: Winning the War of the Wagging Tongue by Matthew C. Mitchell provides biblical insights and practical strategies for helping individuals recognize, avoid, and overcome the sin of gossip.
• The Danger of The Tongue – James 3:1-6 (Video) by Susan Heck: The tongue is dangerous when left uncontrolled. The test of how we control our tongue is another test to see if we are in the faith.
• When Words Matter Most: Speaking Truth with Grace to Those You Love by Cheryl Marshall and Caroline Newheiser is a book that guides readers on how to communicate truthfully and lovingly in their most important relationships.
• A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George: This book provides practical guidance on living a godly life, including how to speak in a way that honors God.
• The Power of Words and the Wonder of God, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor, features essays and sermons by various authors on the importance of words and how they can be used to glorify God.
• A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life by J.I. Packer delves into the Puritan approach to the Christian life, including their views on the power of speech.
• The Tongue, the Bridle, and the Blessing: An Exposition of James 3:1–12 by Sinclair Ferguson (Video): Biblical insights on the power of the tongue, offering practical and theological guidance on controlling speech to reflect Christian values.
• The Gospel and Personal Evangelism by Mark Dever: While primarily about evangelism, this book offers valuable insights on how to use words effectively for the purpose of sharing the gospel.
• The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul: While focused on God’s nature, this book provides profound insights into how our understanding of God’s holiness should impact our speech and conduct.
• War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles by Paul David Tripp: This book offers a gospel-centered perspective on communication, addressing how our words reveal our hearts and how the gospel can transform our speech.
• Taming the Tongue by Jeff Robinson: Explores the biblical principles and practical steps for controlling one’s speech to reflect Christian values.
• Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children by John A. Younts: provides practical guidance for parents on how to use daily conversations to teach their children about God and biblical principles.
• Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise of Those Who Are Not God by Sam Crabtree: Practical guidance on how to positively affirm others in a way that reflects God’s love and builds them up.
• “The Mighty Tongue” by R.C. Sproul (Audio): Dr. Sproul examines the power of the tongue to influence both positively and negatively, emphasizing the need for Christians to exercise control over their speech.

These resources give us a thorough understanding of biblical principles regarding words and speech and offer practical advice for cultivating godly communication.

Conclusion:

We know that our ability to speak godly words comes from the Holy Spirit working within us. Reflect on Ephesians 4:29, which reminds us to let no corrupting talk come out of our mouths, but only what is good for building up. By relying on the Spirit and immersing ourselves in God’s Word, our speech can be transformed to be a blessing to those around us and to point others to Christ. Pray for wisdom and discernment in your conversations, and seek to be a vessel of God’s grace in every interaction.

May we continue to value His Word above all else and commit to speaking life and grace in all our conversations.