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Podcast Ep. 30: Cultivating Self-Control in Our Lives

by Marci Ferrell
Biblical Womanhood Christian Living Encouragement Homemaking Podcast Time Management Titus 2

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Self-control is the exercise of inner strength under the direction of sound judgment that enables us to do think and say the things that are pleasing to God. #self-control @mferrell

The need for self-control is clear in God’s Word. There is much said about it. We live in a world where we are tempted daily to overindulge and live outside our boundaries. We live in a world that is dominated by “self” – Self-centeredness, self-pity, selfishness, self-deception.

Wayne Barber shared: What’s the middle letter of the word sin? What’s the middle letter? What’s the middle letter of the word pride? Now, you take those two things out—which by the way, the cross does—then you don’t even have a word. When you say yes to Him, you’ve just crucified the “I,” the flesh.

Proverbs 25:28 says, “like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.”  This proverb gives us a picture of a city with its walls broken down and is utterly defenseless as a picture of what happens when our wall of defense, our self-control is gone, and we’re not able to battle the sinful desires that wage war against our soul. 

Self-control means to master our emotions instead of being mastered by them. It is the ability to control oneself and in particular our emotions and desires or the expression of them in our behavior – especially in difficult situations. 

Show Notes:

John Piper said The very concept of “self-control” implies a battle between a divided self. He said it implies that our “self” produces desires we should not satisfy but instead “control.” We should deny ourselves and take up our cross daily, Jesus says, and follow him (Luke 9:23). Daily our “self” produces desires that should be “denied” or “controlled.” He continues – When we really see and believe that God is for us by grace through Jesus Christ, the power of wrong desires is broken. Therefore, the fight for self-control is a fight of faith.

“Alistair Begg said it beautifully” – true freedom is not a license to do as we please but a liberty to do as we ought”

[clickToTweet tweet=”Sin is internal it begins on the inside. If I've acted externally in a sinful way, it's because it started on the inside. The enemy of our souls is within us. ” quote=”Sin is internal it begins on the inside. If I've acted externally in a sinful way, it's because it started on the inside. The enemy of our souls is within us. “]

Jerry Bridges says about sound judgment and it’s long but it’s good:

“Sound judgment enables us to determine what we should do and how we should respond; inner strength provides the will to do it. Both sound judgment and inner strength are thus necessary for Spirit-directed self-control. Sound judgment is critical to the exercise of self-control. It enables the godly person not only to distinguish good from evil but also to sort out the good and the best. Sound judgment enables us to determine the boundaries of moderation in our appetites, desires, and habits. Sound judgment helps us to regulate our thoughts and keep our emotions under control.

But sound judgment alone is not enough to enable us to practice self-control. Inner strength is also essential. All too often we know very well what to do, but we do not do it. We allow our feelings or desire to overrule our judgment. Ultimately, Self-control is the exercise of inner strength under the direction of sound judgment that enables us to do think and say the things that are pleasing to God.”

[clickToTweet tweet=”Ultimately, Self-control is the exercise of inner strength under the direction of sound judgment that enables us to do think and say the things that are pleasing to God.'” quote=”Ultimately, Self-control is the exercise of inner strength under the direction of sound judgment that enables us to do think and say the things that are pleasing to God.'”]

Difficult Areas to Show Self-Control  (each area touched on in the podcast):

  1. Eating
  2. Sleeping
  3. Thoughts
  4. Emotions
  5. Speech
  6. Priorities
  7. Time
  8. Money

“Eating to calm our fears, alleviate stress, overcome feelings of depression are other habits that do not glorify God.” – Carolyn Mahaney

“One of the ways that the Spirit's name is translated in Scripture is Comforter.  He wants to teach you to comfort yourself not with food, but with His comfort.”  ~Elyse Fitzpatrick – Love to Eat, Hate to Eat

“I have heard of women who pride themselves on being “night people.”  That means they have trouble getting up in the mornings because they come alive at night.  They may stay up to all hours reading, watching television, or pursuing some sort of interest.  The next morning they are too tired to get up and care for their family…These women are not “night people.”  They are lazy and selfish.  Who would not rather stay up late to do whatever they pleased and sleep late the next day?  Once a young wife begins getting up earlier than her children and her husband, she will cease to be a “night person.” She will be tired at night and go to bed at a reasonable hour so she will be there to serve her family the next morning.”  ~ Martha Peace

“If the kind of self-control and sensible thinking that we're talking about is being produced by the grace of God and by the Spirit of God, this is a person who will not be uptight, rigid, legalistic, but a person who will be winsome, compelling, beautiful and free–free to live within the parameters that God has designed for our lives.  Being sophron increases our capacity to pray, to love and to serve others.”

~ Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

Scripture & Resources:

Luke 9:23

Proverbs 25:28

Acts 24:25

Galatians 5:23

2 Peter 1:5-9

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22

1 Corinthians 9:25-27

1 Corinthians 15:10

Galatians 2:20

Galatians 5:16

Titus 2:3-5

1 Corinthians 6:12

1 Corinthians 10:31

Proverbs 23:20-21

Proverbs 31:30

Proverbs 20:13

2 Corinthians 10:5

Philippians 4:8

Psalm 19:14

Ephesians 4:29

James 3:8,10

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Ephesians 5:15-16

Proverbs 31:16, 24 & 27

Blue Letter Bible

Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney

The Fruitful Life by Jerry Bridges

Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Podcast mentioned on Gossip at Confidently Called is not available yet.

How to Resist Gossip

Podcast: Taming Our Tongues

Becoming Women Who Speak Words That Build Up

Podcast: What Does Self-Discipline Look Like in Our Homes

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Related posts:

  1. Podcast: Resisting Gossip
  2. EP 48: Cultivating Gentleness
  3. EP 51: Our Mundane Moments Matter
  4. Evidences of Pride in Our Lives


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Marci Ferrell
Think to yourself before you respond to pause and Think to yourself before you respond to pause and pray. Two simple actions that take a moment but can give you wise words that are covered in gentleness, grace, and love.⁣
⁣
Quote from EP 60: Gently Correcting Our Children you can listen in at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
We are called in Ephesians 4:29 to respond with wo We are called in Ephesians 4:29 to respond with words that give grace, encourage, and build up. This includes those hard moments when our kids are sinfully disobedient.⁣
⁣
Listen in to EP 60: Gently Correcting Our Children at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
By affliction, Christ . . .⁣ shows us our empti By affliction, Christ . . .⁣
 shows us our emptiness and weakness,⁣
 draws us to the throne of grace,⁣
 purifies our affections,⁣
 weans us from the world,⁣
 and makes us long for Heaven.⁣
~ J.C Ryle
This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help This simple free eight-page guide is meant to help you think through your summertime schedule for your family. As you walk through it you'll determine what your family loves to do, leave room for spontaneity, and put together a simple daily routine to help your days run a bit smoother. ⁣
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There are some summertime meal planning tips and a printable with ideas to put on your family's bucket list for summer and maybe spark new ones of your own! ⁣
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Come download your free 8-page summertime guide here and get access to our whole library of printables when you do.
Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from Such a good conversation with Dale Partridge from @relearnhq about his new Gospel Project called MailtheGospel.org. You can get the gospel to anyone anywhere.
So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you fol So appreciate @reagantrose (I do recommend you follow friends if you don’t yet!)- link to the podcast episode we talked about Homemaking to the Glory of God in my profile @thankfulhomemaker 

Repost from @reagantrose 
Godliness > Your Plans⁠
The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.⁣
~ Henry Ward Beecher⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
How many times does Sunday morning roll around and How many times does Sunday morning roll around and you find your heart in a state of chaos instead of calm to worship the Lord?  How many Sundays do you arrive at church and realize you haven’t taken the time all week to pray for your pastor or your church family? ⁣
⁣
I want to share with you some simple steps we can take to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord. ⁣
⁣
The hope today is to get you to understand the purpose and the mission of the local church and then to move on toward how we can proceed with some simple steps to prepare our hearts and the hearts of our families for Sunday morning worship to the Lord.⁣
⁣
Come listen to EP 32: Preparing Our Families for Sunday Morning Worship at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image)
"Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣ ⁣ Very lar "Home is the true wife's kingdom. ⁣
⁣
Very largely does the wife hold in her ⁣
hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness ⁣
and the highest good of the hearts that ⁣
nestle there. In the last analysis, home ⁣
happiness depends on the wife. ⁣
⁣
Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. ⁣
⁣
Her hands fashion its beauty. ⁣
⁣
Her heart makes its love. ⁣
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And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, ⁣
that no woman who has been called to be a wife, ⁣
and has listened to the call, should consider any⁣
price too great to pay, to be . . .⁣
 the light,⁣
 the joy,⁣
 the blessing,⁣
 the inspiration, ⁣
of a home. ⁣
⁣
The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, ⁣
filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing ⁣
something better than anything else her hands ⁣
could find to do beneath the skies.⁣
⁣
A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of ⁣
home happiness. God sends many beautiful things ⁣
to this world, many noble gifts; but no blessing is ⁣
richer than that which He bestows in a mother who ⁣
has learned love's lessons well, and has realized ⁣
something of the meaning of her sacred calling."⁣
⁣
~ J. R. Miller, "Secrets of Happy Home Life"
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