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Becoming Women Who Make Wise and Not Foolish Choices: A Walk Through Proverbs 7

Gentleness is not weakness but is the type of character that enables us to respond in a kind and gentle way even to people who are not behaving properly towards us.   @mferrell

“I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman – Hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore”.

It was many years ago, but I still remember singing that song as a young girl and feeling empowered by it. When Helen Reddy accepted the Grammy Award for her song I Am Woman; she said, “I’d like to thank god because she made everything possible.” I am Woman by Helen Reddy hit number one in 1972, and we are still seeing the impact that song and the mindset it came from has on us today.

The last time I heard that song was at a True Woman Conference I attended in 2008 hosted by Revive Our Hearts, and I was introduced to a speaker by the name of Mary Kassian. Mary gave us a whirlwind overview of the history and effects feminism has had on our culture in a message titled, You’ve Come a Long Way Baby. It opened my eyes to many areas that I hadn’t recognized where I was influenced by a feminist way of thinking instead of a biblical way of thinking.

Fast forward several years and a book called Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian has been on my bookshelf, but I’ve never had a strong desire to pick it up. To be honest, I didn’t have much interest in the book as I thought its appeal was more towards single women. I was very mistaken.  It is helping us as women to have proper biblical discernment and to spot the right biblical attitudes and behaviors, so we can be women who make wise and not foolish choices. The book was addressing wildness in my heart that I didn’t recognize.

Wild is what we are whenever we disregard God and rely instead on the world’s advice, or on what seems right in our own eyes. This was the mistake of Eve, the first Girl-Gone-Wild, who went with her own gut instinct instead of trusting and obeying the Lord.
~ Mary Kassian 

We have been influenced by the lure of feminism since the garden. The Proverbs 7 woman fits the mold of feminism by going against the created order and selfishly desiring to dominate the man. We may not be participating in an adulterous relationship, but how many of our attitudes towards the men in our life are controlling, manipulating, or demanding? There are parts of the Proverbs 7 woman in each of our hearts.

Take a moment to open your Bible with me to Proverbs 7.

The Wild Woman Overview:

The woman in Proverbs 7 is a young married woman who crosses boundaries and puts no hedges of protection around her to avoid sin – she plots and plans an adulterous relationship. It tells us she is “wily of heart,” which means she is crafty and manipulative. She will get people to do what she wants.  It does not say she is a prostitute,  but she is dressed as a prostitute, and we see she is a “church-going” woman as she has “offered sacrifices.”  Her heart is not centered at home, and she is ungovernable or “wayward” and remains intent on getting what she wants.

She is aggressive and takes charge in her relationship as she “seizes him and kisses him.” This young woman took matters into her own hands as she planned a seductive evening for this young man while her husband was away on business. The outcome is devastating to both of them because sin always has consequences:

“Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death”.


God’s Word lays out all we need to be Girls-Gone-Wise. Let us have hearts that are receptive and listen to the truths in God’s Word of who He says we are and how we should live.

The Importance of Our Roles:

Then the man said, “This, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman (Isha), because she was taken out of Man (Ish).”  Genesis 2:23 (italics mine)

In Hebrew the word for Man is Ish, meaning strength, and the word for Woman is Isha, meaning soft. When we lose our understanding of the importance of the created order, our roles get reversed. This is when you find women who dominate and take control in their relationships with men. A Girl Gone Wise understands that she is to let the man take the lead in their relationship. Welcome your husband’s leadership. The best way for you to encourage and influence your husband to take the lead is for you to embrace your role as the woman God created you to be.

The man was created to joyfully and actively initiate and give. The woman was created to joyfully and actively respond and receive. The woman is the beautiful “soft” one – the receiver, responder and relater. The man is the “strong” one with greater capacity to initiate, protect, and provide. Each is a perfect counterpart to the other.
~ Mary Kassian 

 Our Hearts:

There was a quote in the book that they used during the Great Awakening to describe their salvation experience; it was:

“I’ve been seized by the power of a great affection.”

When our hearts are seized by the love and power of Christ, then all that flows out of my life—my attitudes, speech, dress, relationships…will be the overflow of that love for Christ. When my heart is truly changed, my behavior changes.

Where Do We Get Our Counsel?

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. Psalm 1:1-2

Where am I getting my counsel? If we are listening to the messages of the world, they will continually mislead us and keep us from becoming wise women. The average woman takes in about 70 hours of mass media a week (this is in many various forms). We can become so saturated by worldly thinking that our minds cannot think biblically when issues arise.  We need to be intentional and turn off the message of the world. What are you watching, reading, and listening to? Do you take time to tune into the Lord and focus on things that are lovely and pure?


 When we picture talking about our attitude as godly women, we think that we must all have a cookie-cutter image. We are reminded in Girls Gone Wise that our attitude comes “not from what we do but who we are.”  The brash attitude of the Proverbs 7 woman is not a new attitude. She is stubborn, obstinate, and rebellious in her attitude. She comes across as saying, “No one can tell me what to do.”

This is prevalent in our world today. Women are dominating and controlling. If I don’t have a “take control” attitude, the world looks at me like I will be taken advantage of, not get anywhere, or be a doormat.

How different are God’s ways. The Lord created us with different personalities, and these shine through when we are transformed by the love of God through His Son Jesus Christ. He uses our different personalities to His glory.

…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:4
Gentleness is not weakness but is the type of character that enables us to respond in a kind and gentle way even to people who are not behaving properly towards us.  
We trust in God’s sovereign control of our lives.
We have serenity and calmness about our spirit even in difficult or trying times because we know that we are surrendered to His Providence in our lives, and it is good.
You can have a bubbly outgoing personality and still demonstrate calmness in your spirit. Any personality type trusting in the Lord will deal with life’s trials with wisdom, grace, and gentleness.


Choosing Lady Wisdom:

And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Luke 1:38
Are we willing to say “yes” to the Lord and trust His ways? Do we desire to live counter-culturally and commit our lives to live according to God’s design? May we follow and grow in the way of wisdom. May we embrace the beauty of womanhood as God created it to be and live where we, too, can say, “let it be to me according to your word.”




  1. Charmaine says:

    This was awesome, thanks for posting! I have been that proverbs 7 woman a few times in my life and I am so thankful that God is changing me!

    1. Marci Ferrell says:

      Thank you Charmaine for sharing – I’ve been that woman too sadly. Thankful for God’s Word and His grace in our lives always.

  2. God knew I needed this exact post this morning! Thank you for bringing it to me. I needed a reset of my thinking.

  3. says:

    Yes and amen! The book “Girls Gone Wise…” is one that had an enormous impact on me several years back, when the Lord was graciously turning my worldview upside down. This is such an important message for Christian ladies today. I love what you shared here! Great post, Marci!
    Blessings, Jenni

  4. Kasey @ TFOMplus2 says:

    I just went and read this post…EXCELLENT! Very well written and packed with truth! Thank you, Marci!!

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