EP 198: When We Think Something Needs to Change

Inside: There always seems to be something we think needs to change before we can be content. I’m still learning to trust the Lord in what He gives me.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Listen to the Podcast:

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“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”

Philippians 4:11

I love that Paul tells us in Philippians 4 that he had learned to be content. Did you catch those words? “I have learned.” This wasn’t just something Paul knew to be true. The Lord had taught him contentment through the circumstances He brought into his life.

And I think that’s encouraging for us because contentment doesn’t come naturally to us either. We learn it as we walk with the Lord and trust Him in what He gives us and also in what He chooses to withhold.

I see this in my own heart so often. It doesn’t always take some big circumstance to bring out discontentment in me. Sometimes it’s just a day that isn’t going the way I planned, something I was hoping would work out differently, or even another person not doing what I thought they should do. It doesn’t take long for me to see how easily I can tie my contentment to having things go the way I want them to.

We can think we would be more content if we had more money, better health, more time, fewer responsibilities, or if someone in our life would just do something differently. There always seems to be something we think needs to change before we can be content.

Many times we deal with discontentment because of unmet expectations. We have an idea in our minds of how we think things should be, and when they don’t turn out that way, we can find ourselves complaining or frustrated with what the Lord has given us.

I can know all the right verses about contentment and still find myself grumbling when things don’t go the way I hoped. I’m still learning to trust the Lord in what He gives me.

Paul writes:

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

Philippians 4:12

Paul knew what it was to have plenty, and he knew what it was to be in need. Yet whether he had plenty or whether he was in need, Christ never changed.

The next verse is one we know well:

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:13

We hear this verse quoted in all sorts of ways, but in the context Paul is talking about being content in whatever circumstances the Lord had placed him.

We can live independent of circumstances when we are living dependent on Christ.

Paul wasn’t saying he had learned to be self-sufficient or that he could just grit his teeth and make it through whatever came his way. His sufficiency was in Christ. Christ was the One who gave Paul the strength to be content in plenty and in need.

And I need this reminder because so often I want circumstances to change.

Being content doesn’t mean we pretend hard things aren’t hard. Paul certainly knew what it was to suffer and to be in need. And it doesn’t mean it’s wrong to ask the Lord to change our circumstances.

We can bring those desires before the Lord and ask Him to change our circumstances while still trusting that He knows what is best for us.

And I think our unmet expectations can reveal so much about our hearts. Am I willing to trust the Lord if He doesn’t answer the way I hoped He would?

Romans 8:28 has become such a comfort to me over the years. The Lord is working in every circumstance of our lives, even the ones we would never choose. And verse 29 reminds us that one of His purposes is to conform us to the image of His Son. I need to remember that He uses even the things I would never choose to do His work in me and make me more like Christ.

I see this with my expectations of other people too. I can so easily think, If this person would just do this differently, then I wouldn’t be frustrated. But now my contentment is dependent on another person behaving the way I think they should.

We can put expectations on our husbands, our children, and others that they were never meant to carry, looking to them for something that can only be found in Christ.

Hebrews 13:5 tells us to “be content with what you have,” and then gives us the reason: “for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” What a comfort to remember that we have Him.

So maybe it would be helpful to ask ourselves where discontentment has been showing up in our lives.

What have I been complaining about? What do I keep thinking needs to change before I can be content? Am I holding tightly to an expectation of how I think something should go? Is my contentment dependent on someone else changing?

I have to ask myself these same questions.

And when the Lord shows us those places, we can bring them before Him. We can confess our grumbling and discontentment, thank Him for the many ways He has already cared for us, and ask Him to help us trust His good providence in our lives.

Like Paul, I’m still learning to be content in whatever circumstances the Lord gives me. I’m thankful He patiently teaches us as we walk with Him and continues to remind us that Christ is enough for whatever He calls us to.

I’ve shared more about some of the ways the Lord teaches us contentment in an older post on Learning Contentment, if you’d like to read more.

Whatever our needs today, may we trust fully in the sufficiency of Christ. There is where we will find contentment in our souls.

You Might Also Enjoy:

• EP 191: Holding Our Expectations with Grace: When People Disappoint Us
• When Discontentment Steals Our Joy
• Thoughts on Contentment
• EP 46: Our Need for Contentment
• The “If Only” Syndrome: Finding Contentment in Christ Instead of Circumstances