EP 186: Encouraging Your Husband’s Leadership in the Home with Doug Ferrell
Inside: How can we be for our husbands and strengthen their leadership in practical, biblical ways?
Encouraging Your Husband’s Leadership
A Gospel Conversation with Doug Ferrell 🥰
In this special episode, Doug joins me for a warm and honest conversation about how wives can encourage their husband’s leadership in practical, biblical ways.
This is a topic that can feel tender. Many of us say we want our husbands to lead — but sometimes we unintentionally make it difficult for them to do so.
Together, we talk about:
• What biblical headship actually means
• Why leadership is about responsibility, not power
• How respect strengthens a man
• Why trust in the Lord frees us from control
• And how God uses mistakes to grow both husband and wife
We’ve walked this road for forty years, including fifteen years before we were believers, so this conversation comes from experience, repentance, and seeing God’s faithfulness over time.
These notes are simply a summary of our conversation. I’d really encourage you to listen to the full episode to hear the heart behind it and Doug’s perspective as we talk through each point together.
Listen to the Podcast Below (40 minutes) or read the show notes for the episode below (4 minutes):
Related Resources
- Marriage Series on the Blog & Podcast
- Submission Posts & Podcasts
- Common Struggles Wives Face in Encouraging Their Husband’s Leadership
- 40-Week Husband Encouragement Challenge (Free Printable PDF for Wives)
- EP 179: Encouraging Your Husband: Biblical Wisdom for Building Him Up with Grace
- My book Homemaking Matters (Chapter on Modeling Christ in the Home) – available for pre-order
A Biblical Foundation for Marriage
We grounded our conversation in these passages:
- Ephesians 5:22–24
- Genesis 1:27
- Galatians 3:28
- 1 Peter 3:1–2
- Proverbs 3:5–6
- Proverbs 31:11
- Psalm 139:23–24
- Romans 8:28
- 1 Corinthians 11:1
- 1 Peter 3:7
Marriage is not man’s idea. It is God’s design.
And biblical headship is not about power — it is about sacrificial responsibility under Christ.
9 Practical Ways to Encourage Your Husband’s Leadership
In this episode, Doug and I walk through each of these in much more detail and share both the biblical foundation and practical examples from our own marriage. Below is a simple outline of the nine points we discussed.
1. Examine Your Own Heart:
Before looking at what your husband is or isn’t doing, start by asking the Lord to search your own heart (Psalm 139:23–24). The primary battle in marriage isn’t first your husband’s shortcomings, it’s your heart before the Lord.
2. Pray for Him Daily
One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is prayer, not simply that God would “fix him,” but that he would love Christ deeply, walk humbly, and be quick to repent. Sometimes the change God is doing through your prayers is in you.
3. Encourage, Don’t Critique
Most men already know where they are weak. What strengthens a husband isn’t constant correction — it’s respect and affirmation when he takes initiative. Leadership grows when it’s encouraged, not dissected.
4. When You Think Your Way Is Better
Biblical submission is most clearly displayed not when we fully agree, but when we disagree and still choose to trust the Lord. Our trust is not in our husband’s perfection, but in God’s sovereignty (Romans 8:28).
5. Lead by Modeling Christ
Before challenging your husband spiritually, ask: am I modeling what I’m asking of him? A steady, humble walk with Christ often carries more influence than constant reminders (1 Peter 3:1–2).
6. Remember the Example You’re Setting for Your Children
The way we respond to our husband’s leadership shapes how our children understand authority, marriage, and even God. Unity in the home teaches them that leadership can be firm and loving at the same time.
7. Give Him Room to Lead
Sometimes we unintentionally leave no space for leadership by managing every detail ourselves. Growth happens when responsibility is owned, not removed.
8. Don’t Confuse Leadership with Perfection
Your husband will make mistakes. Leadership isn’t about getting every decision right; it’s about taking responsibility, repenting when needed, and continuing to grow.
9. Remember Who Ultimately Leads Your Home
Jesus Christ is the true Head of your home. Both husband and wife stand under His authority and His grace, and He is more committed to your sanctification than you are.
Important Clarification
Nothing in this episode applies to situations of abuse or harm. Biblical submission never means enduring physical danger or ongoing sin. If you are in that situation, please seek help from trusted church leaders and appropriate authorities.
If you’re listening and thinking, “We have some growing to do,” that’s okay. So do we.
The Christian life is growth. It’s repentance. It’s learning to love one another well.
Start small. Pray together. Talk together. Ask forgiveness where needed.
And trust that the Lord delights to strengthen marriages that honor Him.
And as always…
Jesus truly is enough.
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