EP 188: Biblically Caring for Our Aging Parents
Inside: Walking through caring for aging parents with biblical truth, personal reflection, and encouragement to be faithful right where God has you.
Estimated reading time: 13 minutes
Walking Through Caring for Aging Parents
Doug and I are walking through the next season the Lord has for us right now, and it has me reflecting on so much. It’s a season we walked through 14 years ago when Doug’s parents were living in our home and we were caring for his sweet mom in her final days. And now we find ourselves here again, this time with his dad.
My dear father-in-law is living with us now. Dad, or as I like to call him, Papa, has truly been more like a dad to me than a father-in-law. I often call him my “father-in-love.” We’re caring for him in this final season of his life through hospice care in our home.
Papa has had such an impact on our family, and I love him so much. This has been hard because we know we’re going to miss him deeply. But he loves the Lord, and it has been such a gift to have him here with us, to hear him praying, and to pray with him when we tuck him in at night. Even in this hard season, the Lord is giving us precious memories we will carry with us and pass on to our family.
This season has brought so much back to mind. It’s reminded me of truths from God’s Word that anchored us then and are anchoring me now. And it has caused me to think again about what it means, as believers, to honor and care for our aging parents.
If you’d rather listen in, I share more of this season and what the Lord has been teaching me in today’s podcast episode. I’d love to have you join me there.
Listen to the Podcast (35 Minutes) or read the post below (12 minutes)
What the Bible Says About Honoring Our Parents
One thing I keep coming back to is this: we never outgrow the call to honor our parents. In Exodus 20:12 we’re told, “Honor your father and your mother,” and that command doesn’t end when we leave home. It changes in how it looks, but the heart remains the same.
We are called to love, respect, and care for our parents in a way that reflects the Lord. In 1 Timothy 5:8, we’re reminded that caring for our family is not just a kind thing to do, it’s part of living out our faith. And Jesus tells us in John 13:35, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” This kind of love should be visible in our homes first.
This isn’t just about duty. It’s about reflecting the heart of Christ in the way we love those He has given us. So as our parents age, we come back to God’s Word, not asking what is easiest, but what is faithful.
When Caregiving Becomes Part of Family Life
When Doug’s parents moved into our home years ago, everything changed. My mother-in-law had suffered several major strokes and was bedridden and unresponsive. Our dining room became a care space, and Doug’s dad moved into one of our spare rooms.
There were changes for them, and there were changes for us. Doug’s dad needed help with her daily care, and for our family, a nursing home was not an option. I want to be careful how I say this, because I do not want to make it sound easy. It wasn’t easy. But the decision itself was not a difficult one for us. Biblically, we believed this was what we were called to do.
Family is important to us. We believe God designed families to care for one another through every season of life, the weak and the strong, the young and the old. So this was not about what was convenient. It was about being faithful to what we saw in God’s Word. This was the season the Lord had given us.
That said, I know every situation looks different. Not everyone is able to bring a parent into their home, and there are many factors that come into play. This isn’t about one exact way to do it. But it is about not stepping back from the responsibility altogether. We are called to be involved, to care, and to honor our parents in ways that are wise and possible in the season the Lord has us in.
This was such a good example to our children and to others who came through our home. Our son was living at home during that time, so he was part of helping us care for Mom. Our daughter was married, but when she moved back to the States from Norway, she was such a help to us too.
A Culture That Values Independence Over Family Care
We live in a culture that values independence so highly that caring for aging parents can often be seen more as a burden than a responsibility, or even a privilege. In many ways, families have become more separated, and care has often been handed over to institutions. We’ve lost something in that.
Even those who are aging can feel this pull. They may not want to feel like a burden, and may even prefer not to receive care. But this is where we come back again to God’s design. Scripture reminds us of this so clearly in 1 Timothy 5, where we are called to care for those in our own family, and not overlook that responsibility.
He has called families to care for one another across every season of life, the younger caring for the older and the stronger helping the weaker. This isn’t just about meeting physical needs. It’s about living out the gospel in our homes and showing the world something different.
I think back to that season in our own home. We had many nurses, aides, and hospice workers coming in and out, and the Lord opened so many doors for conversations about Christ. It was a reminder to me that this was not only about caring for Mom. The Lord was doing something bigger. He was using that season to make Himself known.
How God Uses Caregiving to Grow Us Spiritually
One of the things the Lord showed me so clearly is how much He uses this kind of care to grow us. These seasons are tiring and at times overwhelming, and they reveal what’s in your heart. They bring out your impatience, your selfishness, and your desire for things to be easier or more on your schedule. I saw that in myself, and it was humbling.
It was a reminder to me that I’m not as spiritually strong as I sometimes think I am. And yet, that’s often where the Lord meets us, drawing us back to Himself and reminding us how much we need Him. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
He was teaching me what it looks like to depend on Him, to pray more, and to give thanks, not because the situation was easy, but because He was at work in it. He was growing us in grace toward one another and strengthening our marriage.
And there is a sweetness in it too. You begin to cherish the time the Lord has given you. You become more aware that these days are numbered, and that changes how you live them. Those everyday moments become gifts.
Walking Through Final Days with Hope in Christ
As we walked through those final days with Doug’s mom, one truth stood out so clearly. Death, for the believer, is a divine appointment. As Mama’s time was getting close, we spent those days reading Scripture, praying, and singing. There was many tears, but there was also a deep peace because we knew she belonged to Christ.
I had never watched someone I loved die before and it was one of the hardest things I have walked through. But in those final moments, as we gathered around her, there was also a deep joy because we knew she was going home to be with the Lord.
For the believer, death isn’t the end. It’s going home to be with Christ.
Caring for a Parent in the Present Season
And now we are walking through this again with Papa. Things are changing, our days have slowed down, and our priorities have shifted as we care for him. Life in our home looks a little different right now, revolving more around being present, sitting with him, and simply being together.
There is tenderness in this season, and there is weight to it too. He is ready to be home with Jesus, and while that is a comfort, it is still very hard. We see him growing weaker, and we know he will not leave here and get better. He is taking in mostly liquids now, just a little bit of food here and there, and we can see the changes happening more quickly.
And yet, it is such a gift to have this time with him. He is still so present with us, and we’ve had such sweet moments just sitting, talking, and listening. So many people have come to visit him, and even now, he continues to point people to Christ. He has always been such a faithful witness, and we’re seeing that even in these days with the nurses and aides coming in and out of our home.
Our care for him right now involves staying close and being attentive to his needs. We help him get dressed, make sure he is getting what he can for nourishment, and we’re helping keep him comfortable, giving medications as needed and tending to the small things that help ease his days. But more than anything, it’s just being there. Not rushing the moments. Being willing to sit and linger a little longer.
It is difficult to watch these changes in him. We love him so much, and there isn’t a day that goes by without tears. But at the same time, it is such a blessing to have this time together. The Lord has been very kind to give us these days with him.
Would you keep us in your prayers? I would especially appreciate your prayers for Doug. His dad is not only his father, but truly a best friend to him, and this has been a very hard season.
Encouragement for Caring for Aging Parents
This season will look different for every family, but the heart is the same. Every situation is going to look a little different. For some, it may mean having a parent in your home. For others, it may mean helping from a distance or simply being more present. But we don’t step away from caring for our parents. We look for ways to step in, in whatever way the Lord allows us to in that season.
Often it looks like simple things, helping with appointments, making regular calls or visits, inviting them into your everyday life, or just sitting with them and not rushing the moment. We loved being able to have Dad over for meals or take a meal to him when he was still at home, or helping him with grocery shopping and caring for his home as things became harder and he needed more help. Often it’s those small, everyday acts of care that mean the most.
This kind of season takes prayer, wisdom, communication, patience, and flexibility. But we don’t have to have it all figured out. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6 to seek first the kingdom of God, so we take the next faithful step in front of us, asking, “Lord, what does it look like to love well in this season?” We can plan, but we do not need to be anxious about tomorrow or overthink it.
Caring for Our Parents for God’s Glory
As I’ve been walking through this season again, I keep coming back to this: this isn’t just about caregiving. It’s about God’s glory. It’s about reflecting Christ in the way we love, serve, and lay down our lives for others. And it’s trusting that even in the slowing down, even in the weakness, even in the sorrow, God is at work.
Nothing in this season is without purpose. Not the hard days or the tears or the long stretches of care. God is using all of it to grow us, to sanctify us, and to make us more like Christ. And He is using it as a witness, to our families, to those who come into our homes, and to a watching world that so often doesn’t know what to do with suffering or death.
And as believers, we do. Not because we have all the answers, but because we have Christ. Because we know this life is not the end, and we know where our hope is found. It doesn’t take away the sorrow, but it anchors us in it.
So wherever you find yourself in this season, whether you’re walking closely with a parent, helping from a distance, or even just looking back on a season like this, I just want to encourage you. Be faithful right where the Lord has you. Love well in the everyday moments. Trust the Lord with what feels like more than you can carry. And remember, what you’re doing matters. It matters to the Lord, and it brings Him glory.
If you’d like to read more on this, I’ve written about this season before on the blog. There are two posts, kind of a part one and part two, where I share more of what the Lord taught us during those earlier years caring for Doug’s mom.
Mama always had an encouraging word, a smile, and a warm hug ready. She loved us all so well, and her life was such a clear picture of what it looks like to follow the Lord. She is still so deeply missed by all of us.
And I’ll mention too, I share about Doug’s mom and the impact she had on my life more in my book, Homemaking Matters. She was such a beautiful example of a Titus 2 woman to me, and the Lord used her life, and even those final days, to shape me in so many ways.
Thank you for taking the time to read this today. I know this is a tender topic, but I pray it encouraged your heart and pointed you back to what is true.
And as always, friend, Jesus is enough.
Recommended Resources:
Trusting God by Jerry Bridges
Surprised by Suffering: The Role of Pain and Death in the Christian Life by R.C. Sproul
Homemaking Matters
Homemaking is more than a list of tasks or a never-ending to-do list. It is a calling given by God, with real purpose for His glory.
Homemaking Matters helps you see your home and your daily responsibilities through the truth of Scripture. God’s Word reminds us that whatever we do, we are to do it for the Lord, and that includes the work we do each day in caring for our homes and families.
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