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She Opens Her Mouth With Wisdom

by Marci Ferrell
Biblical Womanhood Christian Living Communicating with Our Children Communication in Marriage Encouragement Loving Our Children Loving Our Husbands Motherhood Titus 2

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Speaking kindly to others outside our home is easy to do.  It is easy to put on a good face to others.  Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes. #proverbs31 #speakingkindly #communicatingwithourchildren @mferrell

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26

I have been spending time camping in Proverbs these past few weeks, and Proverbs 31 seems to get most of my time.  It is mindful to remember that Proverbs are not promises for our lives but guides to help us in living productive and successful lives according to God's ways. Proverbs are a great place to get practical wisdom.

 

Speaking Words of Wisdom

As we just look at the verse above (Proverbs 31:26), it gives much to ponder for us as wives and mothers.  As I sat and observed the verse, one thing that stood out to me was when she opened her mouth, meaning she didn’t always open her mouth, she spoke with wisdom.

As a Christian woman who desires to speak words of wisdom, I again pondered what types of words would come out of her mouth.

I believe she would be careful in choosing her words.  They would be words that are in line with God’s Word and useful for others to hear.  To her children, her words would build up, encourage and correct.  They would speak of God’s goodness, his gift of salvation through Christ and be words that speak grace to their souls.

Out of her mouth would not come cursing, filthy language, slander or any other corrupt communication (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:29).  In Ephesians 4:29 it says our words should be only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Kindness is on Her Tongue

Speaking kindly to others outside our home is easy to do.  It is easy to put on a good face to others.  Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes.  The example before us in Proverbs 31 is when she speaks to give instruction; kindness is on her tongue.

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Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes.Click to Tweet

Search your heart Mama and let the Lord search your heart and do His work as this is an area that usually needs much attention in our lives.  Too many times our words to our children are sinful, and we can tend to overlook our sinful speech.  We need to treat and talk to our children the way we would desire them to treat and talk to us.  Who is setting the example here?

Our words should be gracious and gentle within and outside our homes.  Practice using “please” and “thank you” and “will you forgive me?”.  Take the time to pray before you respond to a difficult situation and talk to the Lord about it first.  You can still be firm with your children when needed and gentle at the same time.  

Speaking Words of Life

Matthew 12:34 reminds us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  What is coming out of your heart?  Are they words that speak life to others?  One of the most important messages you can share with your children and those in your sphere of influence is the Gospel. There are no kinder words that can come from your mouth than those that bring eternal life.  

Our Lord did not leave us to fend for ourselves in this most difficult area of our lives.  We have His Word, and if we are in Christ, we have His Holy Spirit within us to tame our tongues.  We will never reach perfection in this area of our lives while we are here on this earth, but as we continue to fill our hearts with God’s Word and yield to the Holy Spirit He is faithful to continue to sanctify us and help us in this most difficult area of our lives to have victory over.

Our words should be a reflection that we are God’s children.  May we continue to value His Words above all else.

Some questions to ponder as you interact with your family and others:

  1. Where can you stop speaking words of destruction?  What relationship most needs that from you?  How are you going to remind yourself?
  2.  Where can you begin speaking words that create this week? Who most needs you to speak encouragement to them?

(above two questions taken from Jen Wilkin’s study on James, Week 7)

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:15-17

 

Related Links:

Podcast: Putting on Kindness in Our Homes

The Law of Kindness

Are You Kind to Your Husband?

Kindness in Our Homes

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Related posts:

  1. EP 18: Putting on an Attitude of Love in Our Homes
  2. Putting on an Attitude of Love in Your Home
  3. Serving the Lord in Our Mundane Moments
  4. Podcast EP 58: A Letter to My Younger Self


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Comments

  1. Janie says

    at

    I think you speak with much wisdom on this site! I am grateful to have found it! I enjoy both your writings and the links to what you are pondering during the week! Thank you for writing!

    • Marci Ferrell says

      at

      Thank you Janie – so glad you’re here!

  2. Tracey says

    at

    This is one of my favorite verses about the Proverbs 31 woman ~ perhaps it’s because it’s an area where I know I struggle often. How I want to be characterized by speaking kind words!! Asking God for His help to speak wise and kind words to my family today, as well as to others outside of my home.

    • Marci Ferrell says

      at

      Praying for both of us on this one Tracey xo

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Marci Ferrell
"Self Pity is a death that has no resurrection, a "Self Pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink."⁣
~ Elisabeth Elliot⁣
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The above quote is taken from yesterday's Episode 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Pity - link to the podcast episode in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows in my profile).
I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wi I know we can all relate to self-pity as women, wives, and mothers.  How many times do we focus on our needs that aren’t met?  Unfair situations or circumstances?  Self-pity is a selfish tendency that takes our eyes off Christ and puts them on ourselves.  We forget that “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Are we able to give God “thanks in all things”?⁣
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Come take a listen to EP 105: Practical Steps to Overcome Self-Pity at the link in my profile (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your household is the most important schoolroom y "Your household is the most important schoolroom your children will ever know. And the lessons they learn don't begin and end when you crack open the family Bible. They are always watching and learning from your example—often without even realizing it. That's a tremendous responsibility and opportunity for Christian parents—one that we must make the most of, for God's glory and our children's good."⁣
 ~ John MacArthur⁣
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Come listen to EP 20: The Blessings of Loving Our Children at the link in my profile @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"The visible church is where you will find Christ' "The visible church is where you will find Christ's kingdom on earth, and to disregard the kingdom is to disregard its King."⁣
~ Michael Horton⁣
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Read - Building Loving Relationships In Your Church Family at the link in my bio @thankfuhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not a Isaiah 48:10:Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;  I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.⁣
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Israel is being refined for the honor and glory of the Lord. I need the reminder that everything the Lord allows in my life is for my good and His glory. All that He does and allows is to further His eternal purposes. ⁣
⁣
He continues to remove the dross from my life in the furnace of affliction, and through each trial and circumstance of my life, the hope is I'm becoming more and more molded and shaped into the image of Christ. ⁣
⁣
Susan Huntington shared on this passage:⁣
"...if our blessed God sees that the disciple, like his Master, must be made perfect through sufferings, ought we not to welcome every means which will conduce to this blessed end? Can we desire to be babes in Christ all our days? If it is a proof of sonship to be chastised, may it not prove a special favor to be greatly chastised? ⁣
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If we were asked what the greatest good is, should we not answer that it is conformity to God? If we were asked what the best circumstances are for the Christian to be placed in, should we not answer that they are those that will, most constantly and most effectually, promote his conformity to God? Shall we then pray for afflictions? By no means. We are weak, and are crushed before the moth. We should not pray for what we do not know that we could bear. ⁣
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We should habitually pray for conformity to God, and quietly leave it to Him to determine by what means He will effect this blessed end."⁣
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-Excerpt taken from my favorite devotional - Seasons of the Heart: A Year of Devotions from One Generation of Women to Another by Donna Kelderman (link to the book is in my profile @thankfulhomemaker - click on the link under the blue arrows, and then this image).
Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we Preaching the gospel to yourself. It's a phrase we've all heard, and we all agree with, but deep down, we're like, okay, what does that look like? Or how do I make that practical in my day-to-day life when my marriage is hard? Or the kids are out of control? Or there's an illness in my family, or I'm just stuck in a sinful pattern? Or the house is in chaos, and I don't know where to begin? ⁣
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The reality is we're always saying something to ourselves in our minds, especially in those moments of chaos or difficulty. ⁣
Is what we're speaking to ourselves centered on the truths of God's Word, or are we buying into the lies of the world? ⁣
We need to be talking to ourselves and not just listening to ourselves. But what do we need to be talking to ourselves about? ⁣
⁣
This is what we're going to work through together in EP 69: Preaching the Gospel to Yourself - link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"Your worst days are never so bad that you are bey "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."⁣
~ Jerry Bridges⁣
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Read more at God's Blessing Does Not Depend On Our Performance at the link in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
How many times at church do you find yourself disc How many times at church do you find yourself discussing non-spiritual things? As believers, our relationships with others in the body of Christ are unlike anything non-believers will ever experience. It is such a joy when you come across another Christian that you haven't met before, and because of the common bond of Christ, it is as if you have known them forever.⁣
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I have a favorite book that gets used quite often by Donald S. Whitney called Simplify Your Spiritual Life. In the section, Simplifying our Spiritual Life with Others, he guides us to drive the conversations into the spiritual. Wouldn't we all as believers like our conversations with other believers to be directed towards things related to knowing God, Bible reading and application, theology, evangelism, and prayer, to name a few.⁣
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Mr. Whitney shares some questions that are a natural help in directing your conversations with your brothers and sisters in the faith to the spiritual.  This is a handy list to keep in your Bible, planner, or purse.⁣
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The link to the questions is in my bio @thankfulhomemaker (click on the link under the blue arrows and then this image).
"If there is one maverick molecule in all the univ "If there is one maverick molecule in all the universe, then God is not sovereign. And if God is not sovereign, He is not God."⁣
~R. C. Sproul
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