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She Opens Her Mouth With Wisdom


Speaking kindly to others outside our home is easy to do.  It is easy to put on a good face to others.  Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes. #proverbs31 #speakingkindly #communicatingwithourchildren @mferrell

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26

I have been spending time camping in Proverbs these past few weeks, and Proverbs 31 seems to get most of my time.  It is mindful to remember that Proverbs are not promises for our lives but guides to help us in living productive and successful lives according to God’s ways. Proverbs are a great place to get practical wisdom.


Speaking Words of Wisdom

As we just look at the verse above (Proverbs 31:26), it gives much to ponder for us as wives and mothers. As I sat and observed the verse, one thing that stood out to me was when she opened her mouth, meaning she didn’t always open her mouth, she spoke with wisdom.

As a Christian woman who desires to speak words of wisdom, I again pondered what types of words would come out of her mouth.

I believe she would be careful in choosing her words.  They would be words that are in line with God’s Word and useful for others to hear. To her children, her words would build up, encourage and correct. They would speak of God’s goodness, his gift of salvation through Christ and be words that speak grace to their souls.

Out of her mouth would not come cursing, filthy language, slander or any other corrupt communication (Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:29). In Ephesians 4:29 it says our words should be only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Kindness is on Her Tongue

Speaking kindly to others outside our home is easy to do. It is easy to put on a good face to others. Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes. The example before us in Proverbs 31 is when she speaks to give instruction; kindness is on her tongue.

Our true hearts are revealed by the way we speak to those within our homes. Click to Tweet

Search your heart Mama and let the Lord search your heart and do His work as this is an area that usually needs much attention in our lives. Too many times our words to our children are sinful, and we can tend to overlook our sinful speech.  We need to treat and talk to our children the way we would desire them to treat and talk to us. Who is setting the example here?

Our words should be gracious and gentle within and outside our homes.  Practice using “please” and “thank you” and “will you forgive me?”. Take the time to pray before you respond to a difficult situation and talk to the Lord about it first. You can still be firm with your children when needed and gentle at the same time.

Speaking Words of Life

Matthew 12:34 reminds us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  What is coming out of your heart? Are they words that speak life to others? One of the most important messages you can share with your children and those in your sphere of influence is the Gospel. There are no kinder words that can come from your mouth than those that bring eternal life.

Our Lord did not leave us to fend for ourselves in this most difficult area of our lives.  We have His Word, and if we are in Christ, we have His Holy Spirit within us to tame our tongues. We will never reach perfection in this area of our lives while we are here on this earth, but as we continue to fill our hearts with God’s Word and yield to the Holy Spirit He is faithful to continue to sanctify us and help us in this most difficult area of our lives to have victory over.

Our words should be a reflection that we are God’s children.  May we continue to value His Words above all else.

Some questions to ponder as you interact with your family and others:

  1. Where can you stop speaking words of destruction? What relationship most needs that from you? How are you going to remind yourself?
  2.  Where can you begin speaking words that create this week? Who most needs you to speak encouragement to them?

(above two questions taken from Jen Wilkin’s study on James, Week 7)

15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:15-17


Related Links:

Podcast: Putting on Kindness in Our Homes

The Law of Kindness

Are You Kind to Your Husband?

Kindness in Our Homes




  1. I think you speak with much wisdom on this site! I am grateful to have found it! I enjoy both your writings and the links to what you are pondering during the week! Thank you for writing!

    1. Marci Ferrell says:

      Thank you Janie – so glad you’re here!

  2. This is one of my favorite verses about the Proverbs 31 woman ~ perhaps it’s because it’s an area where I know I struggle often. How I want to be characterized by speaking kind words!! Asking God for His help to speak wise and kind words to my family today, as well as to others outside of my home.

    1. Marci Ferrell says:

      Praying for both of us on this one Tracey xo

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